Hypochondriac
by Sunechirei
Summary: I met him in the hospital. Before I knew what was happening, he became everything I shouldn't need. Everything I wasn't supposed to have. Everything I wanted. He became my sin. SoraxKairi


**So... I finally finished the oneshot I promised to dedicate to the person who got all the words right for chapter... uh... 30, I think. If you've read Is there and Elephant in the Room, that makes sense to you. Otherwise, just ignore it.**

**It's only edited by me, so chances are, there are a lot of mistakes. If people'll point them out to me, I'll do my best to fix them as soon as I can. :)**

**Just a warning, this was 44 pages when I typed it up. So it's long. It's not short at all. Which is a good thing, in my opinion. **

**Please enjoy this one shot, and please review.**

**~Sunechirei**

**Dedicated to Hallucinating Skys for getting the words correct for chapter 30 of Is there an Elephant in the Room.**

* * *

><p><strong>Kairi<strong>

The first time I met him was in the ER. Sounds cliché, like I'm stuck in some weird love story. I know. Trust me when I say that I definitely know how pathetic it really sounds. But that doesn't really matter. It's the truth, and that's all that counts.

He was there, laying down on a hospital bed, grinning like some kind of idiot. Purple bruises were scattered across his face, seeming to have been painted on by a two year old. Dried blood caked the side of his face, beginning at some cut on his forehead. It wasn't smeared at all, like he didn't even bother trying to wipe the liquid away from his eyes.

Then there was his arm. The white dress shirt he wore was bloodied and torn, and even though he tried to hide the damage from the world's viewing pleasure with his other hand, it was obvious, even to me, halfway across the room, that it was broken. Painful too. I couldn't even imagine the pain he must have been feeling right then. But he didn't show it at all. That stupid grin of his stayed on that dirtied face, even when a nurse walked over with wound cleaning supplies.

I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away as the nurse applied the cleaning solution to the cut on his forehead. He joked around with her, the nurse, not flinching a centimeter when the stinging antiseptic was pressed against his injury. I heard the nurse ask him if he needed morphine for his arm, but the boy just laughed.

A joyous sound, that laugh.

I was surprised at how calm and deep it was, distracting me from everything else I was supposed to be doing. It was so distracting, actually, that I completely forgot that I was supposed to be filling in a chart for Dr. Ansem. It wasn't until the nurse headed over to the desk, next to me, that I remembered where I was, and what I was doing.

"You interested in him?" When the nurse asked me this, I realized that I was still staring at him. My face heated up and I turned back to my chart, writing down the last thing I needed to. I desperately hoped the nurse didn't think I was a creep.

"I just noticed he was really happy," I managed to stutter, "but his arm is broken, so I was wondering if there was something wrong with him." Immediately after saying this, I realized just how horrible it sounded, so I tried to correct myself. "I-I mean, I was wondering if he needed any pain medicine. He looks like he's in pain..." The nervous laugh that escaped my mouth only made the nurse laugh and shake her head. I glanced away from her, embarrassed. "What's his name?"

"Sora Hikari," the nurse told me, handing over his chart. "And there's no way he isn't in pain. That arm of his is broken, but he won't let anyone give him medicine. He was reluctant to let me clean his wounds." After a moment's hesitation, I took the file from the nurse and nodded. "You should try and get him to behave. He seems rather eager to leave."

I was surprised by this. Most nurses in this hospital refused to talk to me, or any intern, for that matter, without some kind of incentive from my superior.

"Um... yeah. I'll do that," I muttered, nodding at the nurse. She smiled back at me before taking off to deal with a crying baby on the other side of the room. Shaking my head to make sure this wasn't some kind of dream, I headed over to where Mr. Hikari was, one hundred percent certain this was going to be quick and painless.

I made sure to check his chart, before I made it to him, just to see what the nurse had written in it.

_Sora Hikari. Age: 18. Condition: Bruises, cuts, and a broken arm, most likely from fights. Refuses medicine and treatment. _

The last sentence written nearly made me laugh. Only some kind of idiot would refuse treatment for such painful injuries. Then there was the line, "most likely from fights." Sora Hikari didn't look like the kind of guy who got into fights. Especially if I were to judge by the picture in the file.

It looked as though it had been taken at least a year ago. His brown hair was shorter, and there were no signs of injuries. But those blue eyes were so similar to now, shining with excitement and happiness, like he didn't have a care in the world. Of course, the smile on his face was unmistakable. Wide, bright, and showing no sign of pain in any way.

He was quite attractive. There was no doubt he was popular with the girls at his school.

Only, when I got closer, I noticed the crest on his uniform jacket, and recognized it. He attended Destiny Academy, an all boys private school. The same one my friend Riku attended when he was in high school. I'd heard a lot of stories about the boys who went to that school. Most of them weren't very nice.

Which would explain why he was so beat up.

"Hello there, Mr. Hikari," I greeted when I was close enough for him to hear me. I glanced up and noticed him smiling at me. Then I noticed how fake his grin was. Sure, I'd only taken one psychology class because it was required, but I did learn a few things from that class. Like, how to see if someone was stressed. This boy was extremely stressed.

But of course, lucky me, I was completely distracted by the crystal blue orbs staring up at me. Light brown hair fell away from his face, revealing the shiny eyes that seemed to be filled with surprise. I wondered briefly why, but my own shock took that thought right out of my mind.

Mr. Sora Hikari, was not just good looking.

He was gorgeous.

"My name is Dr. Takedo, and I'll be the doctor taking care of you today," I managed to get out. Eighteen... he was supposed to be eighteen, yet I couldn't help but feel he was much older than that. In his twenties, at least. I had to keep reminding myself he was still in high school, still just a kid.

It was hard to do when he was smiling at me.

"You? A doctor? No way, you're too pretty!"

I know he didn't mean to insult me, but for some reason, he did. The "you're too pretty," comment flew right over my head, and I ended up slamming the the file on the portable table next to his bed.

"Yes. I am a doctor, Mr. Hikari, but if the fact that I'm a women makes it so you don't want me to look at you, I'll gladly go and find one of my colleagues to take my place," I snapped, turning to leave. I must have confused Mr. Hikari, because he reached out with his hand that wasn't injured and grabbed my wrist, keeping me from leaving.

"N-No! Hang on! I didn't mean for you to take it that way! Don't leave!" I turned to him slightly, surprised at the fact he was gripping my doctor coat pretty tightly. "I just meant that you were... um... You're really pretty, and most of the time female doctors aren't, and..." It was obvious that he didn't know what he was saying anymore.

He was really cute right then, stumbling over his words, cheeks turning bright red from embarrassment. Not wanting to show him how amused I was, I let out a deep sigh and pulled my arm away from his grip and sat down again. I could barely see Mr. Hikari's face, but I could tell he was extremely happy by the fact that I wasn't leaving. I mean, really happy. He was grinning like an idiot. And this smile wasn't tense, like it was before.

"Fine. Just be quiet, please, while I examine your arm."

Immediately, he shut his mouth, and the sound of his deep voice vanished. When it was gone, I realized just how amazing his voice sounded. I wished I could hear it again, but that would be hypocritical of me.

Slowly, I grabbed his injured arm and pulled it away from his body. He didn't even flinch.

What I saw when I pulled up his sleeve surprised me.

Yes, the arm was broken, there was no way it couldn't have been, and I didn't understand how he wasn't showing any signs of pain, but that wasn't the worst part. The yellow bruises and healing scars that covered his arm was what really shocked me. Just seeing the injuries set off a little alarm in my head. Either Mr. Hikari was being abused by someone close to him, or he'd been in many fights before this.

Neither were good things.

"Mr. Hikari?" I asked, voice shaking slightly. He seemed to notice the inconsistency in my voice.

"Yes?" He was unsure with his response, like he thought something bad was going to happen.

"How did you get all these injuries?"

He immediately tried to pull his arm out of my grip, despite the pain it would have brought. This time, he did flinch as I kept my hand wrapped tightly around him. I was in no mood to let him escape my questions. I'd seen doctors do that before; let their patients go without getting an answer as to what happened to them. I didn't want to be that kind of person. I needed to know what was going on with this boy.

"Mr. Hikari, please answer the question," I said, examining the arm again.

He laughed a little bit, still trying to pull away. "It's not that big of a deal. I don't really think-"

"Answer the question."

It was about a minute before he actually did answer my question, and even when he did, he didn't sound too sure about what he said. I didn't know whether or not to believe him.

"Some boys just decided I was annoying them, so they beat me up." Through the happy-go-lucky persona he had put back on, I could see just how scared he was. This obviously hadn't happened only once.

Riku always told me that the boys at the school Mr. Hikari attended were close to each other; more so than most. They went to school together from the time they were in pre-school, to when they graduated from high school, and most even went to the same university. The only time they didn't accept someone was when they transferred in late to the school.

I immediately felt a pang of empathy for Riku, as he started attending the school when he was seven, after moving halfway through the school year.

Something similar must have been the case for Mr. Hikari.

"May I ask what you did to annoy those boys?" Sora let out an annoyed laugh as I began to warp his arm in the gauze so it would be easier for him to move so I could get an X-ray for him.

"Sure, ask away."  
>"You're not going to give me an answer, are you?"<p>

"Nope! Can I go now?"

The nurse had been right. He was extremely eager to get out of this place. I didn't blame him.

"I'm sorry, but I need an X-ray before I can put a cast on so I know exactly how it's broken. It's going to take a couple of hours," I explained, drawing away from him. The boy let out an annoyed groan and lay back on the bed, all of his previous happiness gone. "Now, I know you're eighteen, but you're still in high school, so I would like it if you would call your mother or father and let them know what's going on. I'm guessing that they are wondering where you are anyway."

"This is a free clinic, right?"

I was extremely confused. This boy went to one of the most prestigious and expensive all boys private school in the country, and he was asking me if this was a free clinic? He clearly didn't have money troubles.

"Yes, it is."

The boy let out a sigh of relief and smiled at me again.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>The second time I met him was in the clinic.<p>

He was there with that stupid grin on his face, new bruises, new scratches, and the cast I'd applied dirty, cracked, and filled with hundreds of curses, threats, and other horrid things written in sharpie.

It'd only been two months since I saw him last.

""Hello Mr. Hikari-" I started to say, but he held up a hand to interrupt me before I could say much else. He was still smiling.

"I told you already, call me Sora."

I sighed. As soon as I'd taken him to get his X-ray before, he started insisting I call him by his first name. Every time I called him by his name, he scolded me, telling me he didn't want to be known as "Mr. Hikari," like some old man, but rather "Sora," like a regular eighteen year old.

"I know, Mr. Hikari, but it's unprofessional and inappropriate for me to be so familiar with a patient. Please understand..."

"Like I care about appropriate," Mr. Hikari interrupted. "I mean, I wore _this_ to school today." He gestured to the dark t-shirt and ripped jeans he was wearing; every day street clothing that was completely different from the prim uniform he was wearing the last time. I had to smile to myself, thinking about how much trouble he probably got in.

"What's up? Find something amusing, Doc?" He asked, leaning forward with that amused smirk of his getting wider. Immediately, I put on a straight face and shook my head, not wanting him to know what I was thinking about.

"Of course not. There's nothing amusing about the state of your cast." I nodded at it, holding out my hand for him to give it to me. His face fell, probably not expecting me to have said that, and held out his arm obediently. I didn't know how the cast was still on his arm, being so destroyed. It would have to be replaced. "Did you get beat up again?"

"Now, why do you have to ask such stupid questions?" He let out a small laugh and I was tempted to send him home without doing my job correctly. I wasn't in much of a mood for joking around, or people who didn't realize just how ridiculous they were being.

Part of that stemmed from my personality. I didn't like it when people avoided the issue at hand, or tried to act smarter than me.

Another part, however, was because Riku and Aqua had decided to get in an argument. Again. The two of them were always at each others throats. I couldn't understand why Terra didn't kick one of them out of the house. Most likely to go was Riku, as Aqua was Terra's girlfriend.

But that didn't matter.

I wasn't in a very good mood to begin with that day, and Mr. Hikari only seemed to make it worse with his taunting attitude. Of course, the fact that my time as an intern was almost up didn't help at all. My final "check in," as Dr. Ansem called it was due in less than five weeks, and I was no where near done.

Basically, the rudeness of Mr. Hikari made me snap.

"I have to ask these 'stupid questions,' Mr. Hikari, because it's my job to do so, and I'm worried about what might be going on in your life." This was only half true. Yes, it was my job to ask these questions, and to be worried about what was going on in his life, but I actually could have cared less at that moment. Most likely, if I didn't have a meeting with Roxas in a few hours to talk about the logistics of our soon-to-be-wedding, I would have cared. I normally did. Patients were always the first thing on my mind.

But this was something I wasn't looking forward to.

And it was taking over my mind with every passing second.

It didn't help, of course, that Mr. Hikari was being abnormally annoying and rude to me.

"Oh, right. Your job. I forgot you were a doctor for a second there." Most likely, Sora realized that mistake in saying this as soon as the words left his mouth. Still, I didn't give him time to correct it.

"And why is that, Mr. Hikari?" I snapped, forgetting where I was, and that I was talking to a patient. "Did you forget in that little mind of yours that females can be doctors as well as men? Or do you just think that I'm an idiot because I bother trying to make myself look nice in the morning? Is that it? Are women not allowed to try and look pretty, worry about their image without being complete morons? Ugh! You men are all the same. Thinking that you're better, and that women shouldn't work just because of what sex you were born as. You know what? You might as well get the hell out of here right now before you become _contaminated_ by my presence here in this room!"

I honestly don't know why I snapped so harshly at this poor boy. He probably wasn't like the others out there. He was raised in a completely different world than the men I was used to dealing with. Maybe I was taking everything out on him that I couldn't take out on my father, or Roxas. Their disapproval of me becoming a doctor was one of the worst things I could think of. Of course, Mother's shallow view of the world didn't help.

How could she view the world in such a way? It didn't make sense to me that she, a smart woman, could be content in just living off Father's money. When I got into medical school, she was the most reluctant to let me go. Father told her it would be good for me, though I heard them talking later and he told her this was just a phase I was going through, and I would get sick of it eventually.

And then there was Roxas. Oh, he angered me. He made it clear that he wanted me to stop being a doctor as soon as we got married, whenever that was going to be.

Then there were the people in med school. You would think that with so many women becoming doctors, the male teachers would stop being so sexist, but of course not. One teacher tried to fail me in his class. The reason? Because I didn't have a damn dick.

I wanted to scream at these people that it was okay for me to be a doctor, and that it was okay for me to take care of myself, and yet I wasn't able to. I wasn't able to tell them how I felt about their view of the world.

Yet, I could tell it to this boy.

This boy who seemed to be the kind people picked on all the time.

Clearly, there was something wrong with me.

As I stood there, panting heavily, I wondered if this boy was going to want to sue the hospital for my inability to keep my emotions to myself which lead to my harsh behavior. But he surprised me. He slid off the examination table and smiled down at me.

"Feel better now?" He asked quietly.

One of his hands was placed on top of my head, and I flushed. It was then I realized how much taller this boy... er... young man, was than I. Before, he'd always been sitting, or lying down on something, but standing in front of me, he seemed to be so tall.

Still forgetting that I was supposed to be taking care of him, not being a complete bitch, I slapped his hand away and turned towards the door.

"If you have no reason to be here other than to mock me, Mr. Hikari," I whispered, both angry and confused by the emotions raging in my body, "then please, leave this hospital right now."

As I tried to leave, Mr. Hikari suddenly grabbed my arm to stop me, and laughed quietly, saying in a calm voice, "I wasn't mocking you. I was genuinely asking if you were feeling better. You seemed to be really upset." He paused for a moment. "And not because it's my job."

He was definitely mocking me.

"Why would you care?" I asked. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was too upset to think rationally. All I knew was that this boy, this eighteen-year-old boy who I've met twice, beaten up, was being nicer to me than pretty much any other guy I know. Yes, Riku was nice at times, but he was more concerned about getting into my pants, and Terra only seemed to tolerate me because I was his girlfriend's best friend.

Suddenly, his lips were right next to my ear, and his arm was being wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him.

"Because," he whispered, "you interest me."

Before I could react to that, the door to the examination room opened. I pulled away from Mr. Hikari as quickly as humanely possible just as Terra appeared. There was a funny look on his face, like he'd been a witness to what had just happened, but knew better than to say anything about it at that moment.

No doubt he would interrogate me later.

Or get Aqua to do it.

"There you are, Kairi," he said in that dull drone of his. "Your fiance just called looking for you." He emphasized the "fiance" part.

"Thank you," was all I could think to say to him right then. Nothing else seemed to suit the situation.

For some reason, I didn't have the guts to turn around and see what Mr. Hikari's reaction to this news was. But I shouldn't have cared. He was just another patient who happened to be nicer to me than most guys. I might have had a strange feeling rush through my body when he hugged me from behind, but I had probably imagined it. Just another patient. That's all he was to me. Just another guy.

Yet, I had a feeling that the expression on his face when I dashed out of the room was not one I would have wanted to see.

* * *

><p>"So, this boy... he's still in high school?" There was no denying that my fiance was extremely good looking. Dirty blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes, a fit body, and best of all; not too tall, yet not short either. Tall guys freaked me out. One of the reasons I didn't ever want to date Riku. Of course, Roxas' abnormally sexy smile was wonderful as well.<p>

Well, when he smiled.

It wasn't often that he did.

In a strange way, I was reminded of Mr. Hikari when I was around Roxas. Only, Mr. Hikari actually had some kind of personality that was interesting, and it was clear he was still rather young. Roxas was dull to talk to most of the time. Like having a conversation with a paper box. Though, having a conversation with a paper box could be fun.

Because you could make up responses for the box without getting funny looks.

"Yes. He's a senior at the same private school you and Riku attended." We always sat across from each other. Never next to each other, no matter what the circumstances. Sometimes, I wished that Roxas actually acted like he had feelings for me, rather than that spending time with me was some kind of annoying chore.

Of course, I couldn't help but remember one of the first things he said to me once my parents were no longer in the room. He told me that he had no intention of falling in love for me, or even seeing me as some kind of friend. He was only going to go through with this marriage because his father would have wanted it to be so.

"But he's eighteen?"

"Y-yes." I had no idea where this conversation was going anymore.

"Do you like him?"

Oh. That's where it was going.

Trying my best to keep a straight face, I took a small sip of the tea Roxas had generously ordered for me a little while ago. The lukewarm liquid running down my throat was about as disgusting as that question was.

"Roxas, he's in high school. And a patient."

"So?"

Clearly this man had some issues with his mental stability.

"I don't think this is a conversation I should be having with you, my fiance. Especially not when you have that look on your face." He was completely calm, like he hadn't just asked me a ridiculously strange question.

"Why not? If you like him, then by all means you should pursue a relationship-"

"Please, Roxas," I pleaded, desperately wishing we could change the subject. "I'm engaged. To you. You're the only guy I'll ever like-"

"Only you don't like me. Just as I don't like you." That comment hurt. Actually dug into my heart and tore it to shreds. Yes, Roxas made it clear that this whole thing was only a formality, but recently he hadn't pointed that out. I was beginning to think, and even hope, that he would start to develop feelings for me so that I could do the same, and we would live happily together as an actual married couple.

And the fact that he said it loudly in a crowded restaurant was just rude.

Even if it was the truth.

"Well, I think discussing whether or not I like a high school aged patient is extremely inappropriate," I said, standing. "So, sir, if that seems to be all you can think to talk about, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave now." Roxas didn't even try to stop me as I walked out of the little cafe, trying not to cry. I didn't even want to marry this man. The reason I was going to was because, like Roxas, of my father.

No other reason could possibly justify that.

* * *

><p>"You don't look very happy," Riku commented later that day when I slammed the door to the house I was living in shut. "I take it something happened with Mr. Fiance that shouldn't have happened?"<p>

It was easy to completely ignore Riku as I stormed up the stairs. I was headed to the one place in this hellish world that I could get some peace: my room.

Well, usually it was my safe haven, but when Riku decided to follow me there, it quickly became the one place I wish didn't exist. Then no one _could_ follow me, and it would be easy to escape the madness that was my life.

I heard footsteps behind me, then he called my name, so I dashed up the stairs as quickly as I possibly could. I made for the door to my room, hoping that maybe, just maybe, if I was able to lock the door before he caught up to me, he would leave me alone. But I had no such luck, because just as I was opening the door, his hand came down on it next to my head, and he slammed it shut with ease.

"Nice try, Ms. Kairi, but I'm too interested in this fake relationship you have with the richest computer engineer in the world to let you get away when you're upset," Riku told me as I tried to get the door open. There was no chance that I could win this struggle. Riku was way to strong for that. So, I gave in, sighed, and turned around, accepting the fact that my extremely hot guy friend had me pinned to the door.

Most girls would have killed to get in this situation.

I would have killed to get out of it.

"Roxas isn't the rich computer genius," I corrected. "His father was. Roxas is just following in his footsteps, and riding off his father's name to get whatever he wants." Riku rolled his eyes and leaned closer to me, opening his mouth like he was going to say something, but I didn't want any of that. I slapped my hand over it, slightly afraid of what he was going to say, and what he might do after he speaks.

Like kiss me.

Which has happened before.

Granted, it was partially my doing, but that isn't the point.

"But he's not the reason I'm irritated," I commented dryly, hoping that Riku would leave me alone once he realized this had nothing to do with my relationship with Roxas. "Well, not the only reason." Roxas' question shouldn't have bugged me. It really shouldn't have, and yet, it did. Just thinking about Mr. Hikari bugged me, and I couldn't figure out exactly why. And why had Roxas asked that rude and inappropriate question? Did he have any grounds for thinking that I liked this young boy who I'd met twice? Maybe there was a reason. Maybe I said something that made him think like that.

Or maybe he was just insane, and hoping that I would find someone to like so I didn't bug him as much.

"Hey, you alright?" Riku asked, removing my hand from his mouth easily. As soon as he did this, I ducked and tried to dash down the hallway. It was a good way to escape from him. Maybe I could hide out in Aqua's "room" for a little bit.

But his grip on my wrist was way to tight, and I couldn't get away.

I groaned as he pulled me back towards him, and turned around. He chuckled at my reaction and grinned.

"Nice try Kairi, but I'm not going to let you get away from me that easily," he said. "So, this has nothing to do with Roxas, huh? Well then, talk to Riku. What's bugging you?" I had to admit, Riku was actually really nice. There were times when he actually seemed slightly concerned about me.

But I didn't want to talk to him about this. He didn't need to know about Mr. Hikari.

"Kairi? Aren't you going to-"

"You surgeons are all the same," a cold voice growled suddenly. "Cocky, selfish, sons' of bitches who think they can get whatever the hell the want." It was almost impossible to hold in my sigh of relief at the sound of my best friend, Aqua's, voice. She always seemed to show up at exactly the right time to save my butt from whatever was happening. "You guys think you can do whatever you want without thinking about how it might affect the people around you."

Of course, she was an extreme feminist who always got into arguments with Riku, usually over nothing. That was kind of annoying.

But, this caused Riku to release my wrist and turn angrily to face the blue-haired girl. Another start of yet another fight. Absolutely wonderful.

These are the people I live with.

"I'd like to hear you say that in front of Terra," Riku said calmly. "Or better yet, to his face." He walked towards her, leaving me pressed up against the door to my room. "I bet he'd dump you in an instant."

Just like Riku to say that. Always poke at Aqua for the fact that she liked Terra. But this wasn't something I really wanted to get in the middle of.

So, before things got violent, I yanked open the door to my room and slid inside, then slammed it shut so Riku couldn't get in. I locked the door quickly, extremely glad that the wood blocked out most of the sound.

Kinda.

I could still hear the argument that was going on between the two of them, which I was slightly grateful for. They were loud enough that I couldn't focus on the thing that was bugging me, and I was kinda of calming down. Until they moved to another section of the house, leaving me alone in a quiet room with nothing but my thoughts.

So, of course, I was left to ponder what Roxas had asked me, and about the conversation that spanned afterward. Yes, I'd thought about it almost all day, yet I couldn't manage to get it out of my head.

It was bugging me so much.

What he said disturbed me greatly, but not because he didn't care if I basically cheated on him with some high school student. Or anyone, for that matter. What really annoyed me was because I couldn't help but think he might have been onto something. There was just something about Mr. Hikari that made it impossible for me to stop thinking about him.

It was driving me to the brink of insanity.

* * *

><p>Not long after that, I saw him almost every day.<p>

Exactly one week after my disturbing conversation with Roxas, I got a call from the hospital in the middle of the night, saying that my previous patient, Sora Hikari, had been hospitalized.

This time, because of an attempted suicide.

The whole drive to the hospital I thought about that prospect. Suicide. Killing yourself. It just didn't seem to fit in his personality.

He was asleep when I got to the hospital, though I was told that it was because they had to give him sleeping medicine. I asked an orderly what happened as soon as I found one.

He didn't seem happy to have to be the one to tell me.

"Jumped off a bridge. He landed in the river conscious, but the shock of the cold caused him to pass out. He probably would have died if Riku hadn't been driving to work at that same moment and saw it happen."

"Riku?"

"Yeah. He came in here, dripping wet, saying that he had a nearly dead high schooler in his car and he needed help.

"What's his condition?" I asked, a nasty feeling bubbling in the pit of my stomach. It was very unlikely that someone would see another person try to kill themselves, much less a doctor. This boy was either extremely lucky, or would be very upset when he woke up.

"He's currently stable. The impact of the water bruised him up a little bit, but he only has one or two fractured bones that should heal pretty quickly. The problem we're having right now is that his heart is a little erratic because he nearly drowned, but Dr. Ansem said he would be perfectly fine if he stays with us for a while," the orderly explained. "He was awake when Riku first brought him in, and in a lot of pain, so we knocked him out."

"Thank you."

Two women were in the hospital room with him. I assumed they were members of his family. Based on the ages, I guessed his sister and mother. The younger of the two was comforting the older, rubbing her back and speaking to her gently. The mother was crying. Her thin face was blotched red from the tears streaming down her face, and she looked as though she were sick.

A flash of anger rushed through me.

How could he try and kill himself? Who could do that to themselves, and to their family? How could this boy hurt his mother so much when she seemed to be so frail? Didn't he know how much this would affect her?

Nothing could justify a person trying to take their life when they had people worrying about them. No amount of horrible things in a person's life should be enough for them to do such a horrible thing.

And yet...

I decided that I didn't want to talk to his family just yet.

Instead, I went to find Riku to ask him what he saw, and why he didn't pass out from the cold. A nurse told me that she'd seem him go into the male locker room about a half hour before, but hadn't seen him since then. Chances are, he was still there.

Still angry, my thoughts immediately jumped to thinking that he was hiding from everything, like he always did, so I decided to go yell at him. Get some of the frustration that was plaguing me off my chest so I could calm down before talking to Mr. Hikari's sister and Mom. It wouldn't be good if I was angry while talking to them.

But when I burst into the locker room, what I saw actually helped me calm down a little bit, and get rid of my frustration. Riku was just sitting there, hair and clothing still damp, staring at the lockers blankly. His hands were hanging by his side, like he couldn't move them.

"Riku?" I'd never seen him act like this before. "Are you... are you okay?" When he didn't respond, I walked over to where he was sitting, and joined him. Seeing someone jump... It must have been hard. Especially for a surgeon. They worked their asses off for a long time to practice saving people, not see them throw their lives away so easily.

"You saved his life," I whispered, leaning my head against his damp shoulder. "He's going to be alright now. And that's because of you." I was hoping that maybe I could cheer him up a bit. It didn't seem to be working though. "I know that seeing someone do something so horrible is pretty traumatizing, but he's going to get the help he needs, so-"

"He didn't jump," Riku muttered, standing up. Before I could ask him what in the world he meant by that,he stormed out of the room quite angrily.

I was left there alone, with his strange words echoing in my head.

_He didn't jump._

* * *

><p>I met his mom and sister just as they were about to leave; his mom to get some sleep, and his sister to get into work. I'd been right about his mother being sick. She had stage four lung cancer. Never smoked a day in her life, and yet she was dying.<p>

They were very nice people. But they didn't know why Mr. Hikari would try and hurt himself like that. They also didn't know, though, that they boys at school were pretty nasty to him, and picked on him all the time. I found out that he always wore a jacket when he was at home, so they never saw the horrible things written on his cast. He made up excuses for all of his injuries, saying that he was clumsy, and fell down a lot.

When I told them the real reason for his injuries, and his cast, they were absolutely horrified.

After they left, I had a lot of time to think about what had happened, and why he didn't tell his mom what was going on in his life. Maybe he didn't want to stress her out. Maybe he thought it would be best if he took all the pain by himself and not confide in anyone.

Or maybe he was just an idiot who was too proud to let anyone know that he was getting picked on.

Riku told me that it was common for guys to do that, and even he did at times when he was in school. Yes, he didn't get beat up all the time, but he was still picked on for being the new kid in school when he first joined.

I decided then that I hated private schools. If I ever had kids, I would never let them go to a private school. Mine wasn't that bad, but this one seemed to be nasty.

Of course, marrying Roxas pretty much made me certain that I never would have kids, so it didn't really matter. Unless I had an affair and got pregnant from that guy.

I thought about this for most of the time Mr. Hikari was sleeping, knowing that it wouldn't matter if I did. I had seventy-two hours to talk to him while he was under a suicide watch. I was going to be the one doing the psych evaluation, as I was his primary doctor now. Actually a doctor. I passed my final test and was no longer an intern.

This was going to be my first real case.

And already I was messing it up by being so close to the patient.

The longer I watched him, the more I wondered why Riku said he didn't jump. Why he didn't tell his mom what was going on in his life.

He looked pathetic just lying in the hospital bed. He was hooked up to monitors and swathed in bandages. I secretly began to hope that he would wake up soon, even though I knew that would mean he would be in pain again.

But I was extremely bored. I wanted to talk to him. It had been hours since I got here, and I wanted him to be awake finally.

It was very selfish of me.

Almost as if he could read my mind, the young man's eyes slid open. Light was just beginning to shine through the window, reflecting off the fresh layer of snow that dusted the ground. As soon as his eyes landed on me, and he realized that I was sitting on a chair next to his bed, he smiled, tired eyes sparkling. Like he'd done nothing wrong.

"Hey doc, fancy seeing you here." He chuckled, completely oblivious to the nasty glare I was shooting his way. "Nice to know I got the pretty doctor."

Normally that sentence would have bugged me, but I guess I was too confused to actually really care about his flirtatious ways. Not right now. Not when he might not have actually tried to kill himself.

"What happened last night, Mr. Hikari?" I asked in a quiet voice. His grin turned sheepish, and he shrugged like some kind of idiot.

Which he was.

"Don't really know. Guess I was just feeling down; let everything just wash over me all at once. You know?"

"No. I don't know," I muttered under my breath, feeling the urge to cuss this guy out. Louder, I asked, "Why didn't you tell your family about the situation at school? They were very shocked when I told them why you really had that cast a few hours ago."

I had to admit, it was kinda fun to watch his smile falter. For a minute, It thought he was going to yell at me for telling his mom what he told me a month ago, but instead, he just sighed and looked away form me. "Mom has enough stress in her life right now with her cancer. I would have told Olette, but she doesn't live at home anymore, and she doesn't need to worry about me all the time. Besides, I don't need a babysitter anymore. I can take care of myself."

"Apparently you can't," I snapped. He scowled at me, and crossed his arms. "Your mom and sister are there for you, Mr. Hikari. You have to let them. Do you understand?"

"Doesn't matter anymore." His voice was cold. "After I get outta here, I'm not going to do anything so stupid again. I'm not going to try and die again." There was a sincerity to his voice that greatly worried me. He truly believe in what he just said.

Right then, anyway.

Who knew what he would do in a few weeks, or days, or months, when he felt like the world was falling apart again. I bet he didn't plan to jump.

_He didn't jump._

I could hear Riku's voice telling me that over and over in my mind. Every second of silence that passed between me and Mr. Hikari, the voice became louder and louder. It was starting to give me a slight headache, as Riku's voice usually did when he talked too much. Finally, I figured that I should ask him about it, about why Riku said such a strange thing. Ask if there was something else going on that I should know about.

But how could I ask him that? It probably couldn't be easy for him to talk about what happened, and if Riku was just being a fool and he really did jump, then I could really push him into a corner. Yes, I had three days to talk to him, but if he refused to talk to me, then that could be a problem. As long as he didn't show any signs of suicide, then he would be released.

And he might try again.

Yet, those words still bugged me, and I figured that this was a good time to ask him about them.

"Mr. Hikari?"

"Call me Sora, please." he was back to that. He seemed determined to make sure that I called him by his first name. Sighing, I decided to humor him this time, and actually do what he wanted me to.

"Fine, _Sora_," he smiled, "the man who pulled you out of the river, the one who saved your life, said something very interesting. He said that you actually didn't jump." His flinch was very noticeable, even if I wasn't looking for it. His eyes widened. There was a moment of nasty silence while he contemplated what I just told him.

"Riku did?" He eventually asked, voice low and slightly dangerous. I was surprised by that.

"Yes, he- Wait, you know his name?" That was another thing that surprised me. He knew Riku's name. Did he tell him that when the guy pulled him out of the river? Did Riku introduce himself to a kid he just saved? That would make sense, of course. But it was still weird to me.

"What? Oh yeah. Riku used to be my babysitter when we were both younger. He lived down the street from me. I've known him for a long time," he said, sounding irritated. "But he said that to you?" For some reason, I could just imagine a younger Riku babysitting someone. Anyone. Not just Mr. Hikari... Sora.

"Yes, he did. Now, why would he say something like that?"

"Beats me," he answered immediately. "He probably just imagined something weird when he saw me jump. It _was_ really dark out."

His eyes were pleading, begging me not to look into what Riku had said to me. To just let the whole thing drop. After a moment of consideration, I decided I was going to, but only because I didn't want to push him to a point where he didn't speak to me anymore.

I'd already pushed him enough.

But I still didn't believe him.

* * *

><p>"August ninth," Roxas said to me the moment I walked into his house. No, 'hello, how are you doing today?'. Just, that. Normally I wouldn't care, but it was New Years Eve today, so I would think that maybe, just <em>maybe<em> things would be different today. But of course that wasn't the case. I was actually only here because of the party Roxas was attending. I was only going, though, because Roxas needed to show me off.

"What's so special about that date?" I asked, slipping off my snow dusted coat. It was then taken from me the minute it was off, and I was ushered farther into the house by two of Roxas' house maids. Most likely, they were going to take me to dressing room somewhere on the top floor of the house so I could change into an "appropriate" party dress. One that I would have quite a bit of trouble walking in.

Appropriate... more like disgusting.

I really wanted to be back at the hospital.

Even though the flirt named Sora was still there, waiting for me to come back. It would still be better than going to a rich party.

"That's the official date of the wedding." He was walking with us for some reason, looking nervous. "Remember that for tonight, alright?" After saying that, he was gone. He didn't even wait for me to tell him that I would do as he asked, or as him a question as to why that date, and why it was decided without me.

It was my wedding right? Shouldn't he have consulted me before he decided this?

It was completely wrong of him to do this to me.

But of course, that was to be expected of him.

* * *

><p>The party was, as expected, extremely boring.<p>

I spent the entire time stuck to Roxas' arm as he showed me off, introducing me to at least two-hundred people that he worked with. They all seemed like nice people, but every single damn one of them reminded me of myself and Roxas; completely work obsessed rich men and their wives who didn't seem to share a speck of emotion for each other.

Needless to say, I was extremely grateful when my pager decided to go off, telling me that I was needed immediately back at the hospital.

The look on Roxas' face was priceless when my purse beeped. Shock, annoyance, and frustration. It was wonderful to see, even though I knew I would regret it after a time.

"Sorry, but they need me at the hospital," I explained. "Emergency. Someone might die if I don't get there." The people we were talking to nodded, and I tried immediately to pull away from Roxas, whose grip seemed to be cutting the circulation in my arm off.

At first I didn't know why he wouldn't let me go, but then I remembered that we were supposed to be a young couple in love.

Feeling completely disgusted by what I was about to do, I put on a false smile. He did the exact same thing, before he leaned down and kissed me quickly. I wished it were someone else instead. Even Riku would be better than Roxas. He at least had feelings for me

Roxas pulled away from me almost as soon as his lips touched mine, then leaned his head down to whisper in my ear. To everyone else, it probably looked like he was telling me just how much he loved me, and that he couldn't wait to see me later that evening.

That wasn't what he said.

It wasn't even close.

"We'll talk about this later."

Anyone who was paying close attention to the two of us would have noticed the venom that laced my reply.

"I know."

* * *

><p>"Hot damn!" Sora exclaimed when I walked into the hospital room he was staying in later that night. It was almost midnight, so I had absolutely no clue why the nurses hadn't put him to sleep yet, and why they had let him stay up so late. It wasn't healthy for him to be up. They should have already given him his sleeping medicine.<p>

"You look amazing!" Sora continued, grinning like some kind of idiot. As usual.

Two weeks. He'd been here for two weeks after having an allergic reaction to one of the medicines we'd given him. He'd almost suffocated, and had to be intubated. The cut on his neck was still evident.

During this time, he'd done nothing but flirt with me. So I was expecting some comment about the extremely revealing dress I'd been forced into. It was clear this boy had a little crush on me. That would have been fine, except that I thought I might have had a little crush on him too.

It wasn't good.

Still, what he said was flattering in its own way.

"Thank you," I replied, sinking into the chair by his bed. "I was at a pretty fancy party with my fiance when I got a page saying that you were having massive stomach pains." I gave him an incredulous look. "You don't seem to be in pain."

The grin that spread across his face was both annoying, and amusing to me.

"Okay, so I made up the stomach pain." He shrugged. "I just wanted to see you on this awesome night. But it's a good thing, right? I rescued you from having to spend your last minutes of the year with that creep."

I'd found it completely impossible not to answer the hundreds or thousands of questions that Sora asked me during the time I'd spent with him. I wasn't supposed to him about my life with a patient.

It was ethically wrong. Morally wrong. The hospital could actually fire me if they found out how much I'd told Sora about my life.

But he was just so easy to talk to. I couldn't help myself.

So, of course, he knew all about my fake relationship with Roxas, and how upset it made me. He was like the therapist I always needed, but never really wanted to deal with before now. Indeed, he had saved me from the hell hole that was the party.

Of course, this didn't mean that I was going to let him get away with faking stomach pains. If he really had been sick, then things could have gone wrong for him quite quickly. I didn't want to take any chances with that.

Not with him.

"Sora," I scolded– I'd given up on using his last name a while ago–, "do you know what a hypochondriac is?"

"Nope. Care to explain it to me?"

He definitely knew what it was. This boy had gotten into the most prestigious private high schools in the country on a full ride scholarship after getting a hundred percent on the entrance test. He was considered a genius, even if he didn't technically have the I.Q of one. He knew what most things were. Still, I decided to humor his antics, figuring that I could hint at what I wanted him to know. Or, what would be best for him to know.

Yes, it would have been easier to just tell him straight out, but I wanted to extend my stay with him.

He always made me feel better.

"A hypochondriac is a person who excessively worries about their health, and will sometimes fake symptoms in order to get attention. It's a very, _very_ serious mental condition that can often lead to dangerous self harm," I explained.

"So, you're saying that I'm a hypochondriac because I pretended to be sick in order to see you?" Sora asked me, grinning again. "I have a weird feeling that the reason I'm here has _nothing_ to do with worrying about my own health. I know exactly what's wrong with my body and why. I get beat up, remember?"

"You also jumped off a bridge."

Riku refused to talk about what happened with Sora that night after he blatantly told me that his... um... friend, I guess, didn't actually jump. He would gladly talk about anything else that had to do with my patient, but not that night. Sora too, would usually change the subject immediately if I brought up anything about that night. After seventy-two hours of interrogating him, I decided he wasn't suicidal, but it caused him to shut his trap about the whole thing.

Which means I would get nowhere with it.

And this time was no different when it came to the flying subject changes.

"Besides," he continued from his statement, completely ignoring my own, "I pretended to be sick for your sake; not because I was concerned about my health."

He could be really charming at times. I almost hated that about him. How sweet he could be when he wanted something from me. Or, in this case, to get out of being in trouble about something. His mom warned me about that when I talked to her. She said he's been a sweet talker all of his life.

"Thank you," I whispered, smiling softly.

"No problemo!" He didn't get the very subtle hints I was trying to drop. He didn't seem to understand that I was trying to get him to stop being so friendly with me, even if I wanted it. Mind you, I wasn't trying very hard to drop these hints, as I didn't really want him to stop. Deep down, anyway.

"So...," he began, "what should we do for the last few minutes of the year?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, smiling to myself. He was so funny at times.

"Nothing," was my reply. "You need to get some sleep, and I need to head home. I'm sure Roxas is going to try and call me soon to lecture me about having my pager with me during such an important party."

"But it's New Years! Have a little fun! Indulge a little bit! Don't you want to?"

"New Years comes every year. I'll have fun next year when I don't have to deal with you being hospitalized. And you should do that same." It wasn't hard to stand up and head towards the door, but when behind me I heard him scramble out of bed, throwing his covers off to the side. His footsteps were quite loud on the tile ground, and my only thoughts were, 'he's desperate for attention.'

So, I turned around, ready to scold him for getting out of bed while he was still sick, but was surprised to find him right there, standing almost close enough for me to be touching him with my body.

My breath caught in the back of my throat, and I looked up into his eyes. The blue orbs were staring down at me so intensely, that I couldn't help but flush a little bit. They seemed to be somewhat sad. Somewhat lonely. It was like he was pleading with me again, though this time, instead of it being not to talk about what Riku said, he was begging me not to leave. I couldn't understand what was going on. Why he would want me to stay.

He confirmed my suspicion quite quickly, as I turned around to face him completely, by saying, "Don't leave," in a quiet, almost seductive whisper. My skin tingled as I felt his hands travel slowly up my bare arms. The shocks of electricity were strangely comforting, and made me lose everything that was me.

"I know you don't want to."

I wanted to protest against that statement. Tell him that I did want to leave, and that being in this position was extremely uncomfortable for me, that it wasn't right. But my voice wasn't working for me.

And it would have been a lie.

I was caught by his stare still, unable to look away. There was something about him, something so entrancing, and soon, his hands made their way up to my cheeks, holding my head in place. Not that he needed to do that.

I could only think about how close he was to me, how soft his hands were against my skin, how warm his body was pressed closely to mine. This was wrong on so many levels. It was so wrong how my eyes slid closed as he moved closer to me, how I allowed his lips to be placed over my own. So wrong that a burning flame erupted throughout my body, and that my mind was consumed by thoughts of him, that my hand reached up and grabbed his wrist, yet didn't pull it away.

So wrong that I kissed him back.

But I didn't care.

* * *

><p>The fact that I had feelings for Sora Hikari never seemed to sit right with me. Every time I thought about the fact that we'd kissed, I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I didn't recognize. Whenever I saw him in the hospital, or something reminded me of him, my face would heat up and I wouldn't be able to get out a full sentence without focusing on what I needed to say. More than once, Riku, or Aqua, and occasionally even Terra would ask me if I was okay, and if I had a fever.<p>

I told them no, and that every thing was fine.

Only Terra believed me.

Both Riku and Aqua would pester me to no end about what was going on in my life that made me act so weird. Riku asked me one time if it was because of Roxas, and because I'd actually fallen for him. He looked horrified. But, it was probably a better assumption for him than learning I had fallen for one of his best friends.

I answered him with a no.

He hadn't believed me.

Roxas, as well, noticed a difference in the way I acted, saying that I was slightly happier now, more relaxed, and actually content with my life. Of course, like Riku, he attributed this to me being happy with him, and that I'd fallen in love with _him._

I was too distracted by my thoughts most of the time to deny his accusations.

Yes, they were accusations. He scolded me sometimes, saying that I shouldn't fall in love with him, and that even though we were getting married, I should find someone else to share this affection. He didn't want it. He just wanted to focus on his work and make a lot of money like his father, and grandfather before him had.

If only he knew the real reason behind my actions.

If only he knew that after every meeting I had with him, I would get a text, a call, or even a visit, from Sora.

We had a weird relationship, Sora and I. We couldn't exactly say that we were dating, because I was engaged and that would be immoral, and he was still in high school, so I never let our physical relationship go to far, which threw out the idea that we were lovers, but we had something. Something very special to the both of us, I could tell. Sora was happier too, after a time. His grin stopped being half false, he would genuinely laugh most of the time, and he stopped getting beat up at school.

Every time I saw him, he looked less and less mangled, and more like a regular eighteen year old boy.

And as the months passed, I began to I wished more and more that Sora was the one I was going to get married to, not Roxas. I hated that he had been born so late, and that it wouldn't be completely wrong to go through with the selfish acts that plagued me every time I was near him.

I'm pretty sure he wished I would go through with them as well. He was never exactly subtle about how much he wanted to be with my physically, and how it didn't matter to him that we were five years apart, or that he was still a student in high school. It was always him who would try and initiate something more than just kissing.

I would always stop him in his tracks, knowing that he would regret it later if we did sleep together. He was still a child, after all. He might change his mind about me later on.

Then came the day when I couldn't use the high school excuse anymore.

It was a day in mid June when he showed up at my house, right after school ended. I had been really busy at the hospital recently, still trying to get used to the fact that I'd passed my exam and was a full-fledged doctor, so Sora and I hadn't seen each other much. Riku too, was really busy, being put on call a lot of times because he was able to go hours without sleep and not be affected as much as normal people, so he wasn't home at that moment. Aqua and Terra, conveniently, were on a little vacation together.

So I was home alone.

"Sora?" It would have been an understatement to say that I was surprised to see him standing at my door.

"Hey, Kairi," he replied, grinning.

"What are you doing here?"

"Riku told me you were gonna be home alone, so I decided to come visit and keep you company!" He pushed past me, into my house, without even waiting for me to say that he could come in. When he figured out where I lived was a mystery to me. Probably Riku told him, though the intention would have been for Sora to come visit Riku, not me.

With a sigh, I closed the door, smiling to myself that Sora had come out of his way to keep me company for a little while.

I didn't like being left home alone, after all.

As soon as the latch clicked, I felt two arms wrap around me, trapping my arms as I was pulled into a back bear hug.

"Any objections?"  
>That question ended up being rhetorical, as Sora turned me around and occupied my mouth earnestly before I could actually answer it.<p>

When he pulled away, he grinned again, then hugged me tightly once more. I resigned into his body, wrapping my arms around his back. He was so warm... so comforting. So different from the way Roxas made me feel.

"I don't think Riku would have told you I was home alone if he knew you were going to come over here and kiss me," I told Sora, laughing quietly.

"He also probably wouldn't have told me if he knew what I was planning to do while I was over here." Before I could ask him what he meant by that, he picked me up and carried me to the living room. I was placed gently on the couch, and he crawled on top of me. "So I guess it's a good thing he doesn't-"

I didn't let him finish his sentence. My hands reached around to the back of his head, and I pulled him into a kiss. There was no doubt that this made him extremely happy.

A little too happy, probably. He started going too far for what I normally let him do. At first, I didn't care, and I let him trail a line of kisses down my neck without saying anything. Not that I could have if I wanted to. But when his hand began to move up my side, teasing up my shirt as he went along, I knew that it was enough. He was going to go too far.

I tried to push him away from me, and warned in a quiet voice, "Sora, don't forget that-" but my sentence was interrupted by an uncontrollable gasp when he nipped the base of my neck. I clenched my teeth, not wanting him to know how amazing it felt for him to be kissing me there, but this gave him a chance to speak.

"I graduated, Kairi," he whispered, breath warm against my skin. "I'm almost nineteen. There's no need for you to put a limit on this anymore."

"But, it's not right..." I trailed off, and looked away from him, hoping that if I wasn't staring into his eyes, I could think straight again. It kind of worked.

"None of this is right. Stop denying yourself because you're afraid of the consequences, and because you're engaged to that freak of nature Roxas." He kissed me on the lips softly. "You're everything to me. I don't know why, but I can't imagine myself not being with you, and I want to be that person for you as well."

Blushing violently, I turned to face him again, getting lost in thought, and in his beautiful eyes. Was there a point in me denying myself, and denying him? It was what my body longed for, after all. Every time he touched me I felt like he was the only thing in the room, and every time he kissed me I was sure he was the only thing in the whole world.

I couldn't imagine myself without him anymore.

"Please?" His begging voice was enough to convince me.

"Alright," I whispered, and didn't struggle as he continued where he left off. I couldn't deny him anymore.

He was everything I shouldn't need.

He was everything I wasn't supposed to have.

He was everything I wanted.

He was my sin.

* * *

><p><strong>Sora<strong>

The first time I saw her, I knew it was her I wanted. I don't care that saying that makes me sound like some creepy, selfish, bratty, egotistical freak of nature, because it's nothing but the truth. The horrible, horrible truth.

Her auburn hair, soft blue eyes, small, yet sturdy, figure, and of course, her gentle voice that genuinely sounded as if she was concerned about all of her patients. Not just because she was a doctor, but because she actually wanted to help people and make sure they were healthy. Most doctors now a days weren't like that, but she was.

Or, that's what I gathered about her watching her that day in the ER.

I'd been at that specific hospital many times before, as it was the closest one to my house, and my mom went there for her chemotherapy, but I'd never seen her there. I eventually figured out that she was an intern doing her last rotation, which happened to be in the ER.

I have excellent luck sometimes.

I was so psyched when I ended up becoming her patient, that I completely forgot why I was in the hospital in the first place. The memories of me punching Hayner so hard in the face that my arm actually broke (don't really know how that works), and then his gang beating me senseless because of it all but vanished when I saw the nurse who had taken care of me before hand my file over to her. I barely even noticed the pain after that, and it became a hell of a lot easier to pretend to be fine afterward.

She was so different than I imagined her to be. But that just made her all the more appealing. She was stubborn, kind, no-nonsense, but also easily amused at times. It found it fun to try and make her laugh or smile, and when she did, I loved it. She was like some kind of beauty queen who refused to call my by my first name, no matter how many times I begged her to.

She worked so hard to be professional all the time with me, yet when I asked her if she would sign my cast, she did.

_Kairi_.

That's how she signed it.

That's how I learned her name.

The weeks that passed after I met her were somewhat... odd. My sis decided to move out of the house because she didn't want to have to worry about her friends bugging Mom while she slept, which made things slightly difficult for me. I wasn't able to sleep as much, because I had to do chores around the house and my homework, so I didn't pay as much attention in school.

Still, I always beat Hayner on the tests, which pissed him off.

So, of course, he and his buddies picked on me more. Man, the things they wrote on my cast were nasty and violent. I didn't want them to do it, but when you have seven guys holding you down, it's kinda hard to fight back.

Of course, I couldn't come up with an explanation to Mom about why the cast was so horrendous looking, so I just wore a jacket when I was at home. Mom slept most of the time, so she didn't really notice.

I felt a little bad for hiding it from her, but she didn't need to worry about me.

Then I met her the second time. It was in the clinic, when I came back for a check up on my arm. Olette was supposed to have come with me, but she ended up having to work an extra shift, so I went alone. Which was good. Because I got to be with Kairi alone.

I wanted to use her name when I saw her, but I figured that she would get mad at me if I did. Of course, it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because I managed to end up insulting her.

And she blew up at me.

After her rant was done, I figured that someone in her life was trying to hold her back, which was stupid. She was smart. She deserved to be a doctor. So I comforted her. I let myself get carried away though. A little too far. I ended up wrapping my arm around her waist and pulled her against my body. She didn't struggle to get away, and I thought that maybe, she would let me kiss her.

Then the door opened.

And I found out she was engaged.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on by a stampede of elephants.

Riku told me later, when I asked him why I felt like that, that I probably loved her. Then he continued on to question me about who this mystery girl was, and why he'd never met her before. I didn't feel like telling him her name, or where I met her, or anything else about her, so I didn't. It clearly frustrated him, but that's what he got for being a nosy surgeon.

Still, I couldn't stop thinking about her. The worse school became for me, the more I thought about wanting to see her again. For some reason, Hayner's idiocy stopped bugging me after a time. When I told Mom how I was feeling about this girl, and the whole situation with her being older than me, and engaged, she was slightly disturbed.

But also happy.

She said that she was happy I had found someone I thought about this much before her time was up. Olette was still oblivious to the whole thing, but she had her own life to think about, so I figured she didn't need to know.

And I didn't care.

I just wanted to see Kairi again.

And badly.

But, when I did meet her again, it definitely wasn't the way I wanted to.

* * *

><p>Mom never liked it when I stayed out out late, but I did it anyway. There was just something so special about the midnight hours that called to me, begged me to stay out of the house and go do something with my life. Something about it washed away everything horrible that was happening to me. Maybe it was the starts. Maybe it was the silence. Maybe, it was the fact that no one else was out this late.<p>

I was lucky that Mom understood this, and never yelled at me when I got home at two in the morning. Well, as long as I called beforehand and told her that I wasn't going to be home until then, or I left her a note or something.

Otherwise, she got really mad at me.

This night in particular seemed to be pretty wonderful. The falling snow reflected off the street lights, sparkling like the stars that I couldn't see. The river below had yet to freeze over, but wasn't moving as quickly as it normally did, the water trailing lazily towards the sea. It passed silently beneath the bridge without a care in the world. I was surprised that it hadn't frozen over yet. The temperature was well below freezing. It was only a matter of time before it would.

My body convulsed suddenly at the thought of how cold that water must be. Even through my heavy winter jacket, I could feel the cold winds that blew the snow flakes away from their original destination. No doubt, the water would be even colder.

I didn't envy any fish that were down there at that moment.

They my pocket buzzed violently, sending vibrations up my side. I wondered who in the world was calling me at this hour of the night. Very few people had my number, and even fewer would be up this late. Maybe it was the manager of that story I'd applied to, telling me I had an interview. Which would be stupid.

It ended up being Riku.

Sighing, I leaned against the bridge's railing, and answered the phone.

"'Sup Riku?"

_"I've, unfortunately, been instructed to come pick you up before my shift at the hospital starts,"_ he explained calmly, though I could tell he was annoyed. Mom always asked him to do things for her, things like this. He didn't like it that much, but he wouldn't say no to her. He told me that he did once, because he was really busy, and he felt like he just killed a puppy. Of course, this made it all that more entertaining for me.

"Okay," was all I said, knowing this would frustrate him even more. We had this game we played. I did everything in my power to piss him off, and he did the same to me. Whoever snapped first, lost.

_"Where are you?"_ He asked after a moment of silence, probably after realizing I wasn't going to offer any information without prodding.

"On a bridge," I replied.

_"What bridge?"_

"One that passes over a river."

_"Sora, I'm going to need more than that."_

"One close to my house..." My hand was staring to freeze, but I was having way too much fun messing with my friend to really care. He was a smart guy. He would figure it out eventually. I hoped.

_"... Well, if it's close to your house, then walk home," _he growled, clearly frustrated. This was way too much fun. Despite the fact I knew Riku was going to get back at me eventually. I loved this game we played.

"But it's too far for that when it's _this_ cold out.."

_"You're impossible."_

"Aw, is Riku too stupid to figure it out? I should have known you don't have to be smart to become a surgeon. Just be a cocky, ignorant asshole." Oh, it was so much fun say things like that to Riku. He always got so pissed about it, because apparently surgeon stereotypes weren't true at all. So I hung up before he could say anything else. I knew he would come get me anyway. He probably already knew where I was, and he wouldn't let Mom down.

I was actually thinking of begging him to take me to the hospital. I didn't have school the next day, as it was winter break, so I could probably stay out all night and not get in trouble. Mom might be a little miffed, but that was it.

And I could see Kairi again. They did work in the same hospital, after all, so they probably knew each other. But Riku almost never talked about the people he worked with, or the hospital, so I didn't know for sure.

But he probably would refuse to take me, knowing him. He'd say that I would just be in the way, and I should go home and sleep.

Like that was going to happen.

But, it meant I might never see Kairi again.

She hadn't been working the day I got my cast off, and I'd vowed never to get in another fight. So there was no reason for me to take a trip to the hospital and see her again. Which, of course, didn't make me happy at all.

But, I figured it was a good thing that I wasn't going to pick fights now. No more getting hurt, and no more having to explain my injuries to Mom and Olette. I would just have to find another way to get in contact with Kairi. Another way to make her fall in love with me, which was my goal.

Even if it meant that she left her fiance.

I wanted her to fall in love with me.

I was briefly wondering when I'd become so selfish, when I heard the sound of a car engine pull up behind me, and then stall. I grinned, happy that Riku had _finally_ shown up, but when I turned around, that grin faltered quickly.

It wasn't Riku's car.

It was Hayner's.

Leaning back against the railing, I crossed my arms over my chest, and waited patiently for him to either get his ass out of the car so I could tell him to leave me alone, or for him to just drive off and forget I was there. He was the one person I wanted absolutely nothing to do with anymore. The rest of the guys were okay when he wasn't around, but that guy...

Then the driver's door opened, and Hayner stumbled out of the car, a goofy smile plastered on his face.

He was drunk.

I felt sick to my stomach.

This guy was so stupid, and disgusting, getting drunk, and then driving around town like that. Not that he would get in trouble for it. His parents would fix everything for him.

"Hey! Look what I found! That poor kid who thinks he's _so_ smart."

More people followed his lead and got out of the car, all either tipsy, or just flat out wasted. I knew that this couldn't end well. Not when he had half of his gang here. And they had all been drinking.

"What do you want?" I asked, trying very hard to ignore the urge to call the cops and report this son of a bitch. Even if he wasn't arrested for underage drinking, he would certainly get his license pulled for driving under the influence. There's nothing like a DUI on a minor's license to really make a point to that idiot. Of course, then his parents would get involved and probably get everything fixed and back to normal for him. Then I would be targeted for trying to hurt their little baby.

That's what always happened with this guy.

That's one of the main reasons I wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

"You've been avoidin' us and stuff," Hayner slurred, stumbling towards me. I couldn't believe he'd been allowed to drive. Someone should have taken his keys away until he was sober. You'd think there was at least one smart person in that stupid gang of his.

Just one.

"You beat me up every time I talk to you," I said nonchalantly. "Of course I'm avoiding you. Who wouldn't?"

"Yeah? Well, that's not right! You're my punching bag. I need to punch you."

"Go away," I muttered, pushing off the railing. I tried to shove past Hayner as well, hoping to find Riku and his car before Hayner decided I needed to be harassed a bit more, but he wasn't going to have any of that. He grabbed my shoulder and shoved me back towards the railing.

I stumbled back, trying to catch my footing on the slightly icy side walk. It was difficult, but I managed to do it, stopping just before I hit the metal behind me.

"Where d'ya think you're goin'? Huh?" Hayner grabbed my shoulder's and shoved me again, harder this time. And I wasn't able to stop myself.

Things happened extremely quickly. So much so, that I didn't realize what was going on until it was already happening. The world flashed around me as I tripped over a crack in the pavement, and fell backwards. At first I thought I was going to be fine, and just have a few bruises on my back. Which would be no big deal. I was used to bruises.

But it was too short. I was too tall.

And I fell backwards over the edge.

I was vaguely aware of the shouting that occurred above me. That and cursing. I saw Hayner's face appear over the ledge, a look of pure horror crossing his face, and he reached down to grab me, but I was too far away from him. Soon, there was only the sound of air rushing past my ears. My mind went completely blank for a minute. Every inch of my body was numb from what I assumed later was shock.

Then everything was black.

At first the darkness was nice. I felt nothing at all. No pain, no cold, no sadness, no anger... nothing. I think my eyes slid closed as I wafted in this bliss. Everything that made my life hell; Hayner, my mom's cancer, having my father run out after I was born, a somewhat selfish sister, and the pain of knowing I would be alone soon, was gone. It was like a dream come true for me. I wanted it so much before.

Nothing bugged me. I didn't even care that Hayner had pushed me off a bridge and I was probably floating down the river.

But then I became afraid.

I was floating down the river. Hayner had pushed me off a bridge. The water was probably close to freezing. Every inch of my body was numb with cold. My thoughts were scrambled. I could barely keep a single thought straight. I was dying.

I couldn't die. Not now. Mom still needed me. She couldn't take care of herself. She barely had the strength to be awake for more than a few hours. And school. I wasn't done with school yet. I was almost done. There were so many things I hadn't done yet in my life, so I couldn't be dying. It was impossible. This was all some kind of dream.

Hayner hadn't shown up. Riku had already picked me up and I was at home. There was no pain because it wasn't real.

That had to be it.

But then there was pain. Pressure, more like, pounding on my chest. It was there, then it was gone. There. Gone. There. Gone. Like someone was hitting me violently without a care in the world. This wasn't a dream. The pain that spread through my body every time the pressure appeared was horrible. I thought for a minute that someone was stabbing me to death. Again, I was going to die.

But I still had a chance, right? Pain meant I was still alive. I was still in this world. I could still see her again. That gave me hope. I don't know why, but it did, and the darkness began to fade away. My hearing was no longer blocked from all sounds. I could hear cars in the distance.

"Fuck! Sora, breath!"

Burning liquid shot up my throat, and instinctively I coughed. The liquid turned ice cold when it spilled out of my mouth, and I shuddered as it trickled down my cheek. But it was a feeling that wasn't pain. The breath I took in after that was harsh, ripping at my throat like a knife, and invaded my lungs viciously.

Before I could really register what was going on, two hands turned me on my side as I coughed up more water. It felt like I was puking.

"Those rich bastards!" Riku swore, laying me down on the hard, cold ground. Through my blurred vision, I could see that he was soaking wet, shivering, and turned away from me with a cell phone in his hand. "Oh, the police are going to have a field day with this shit." he was going to report them. Tell the cops what happened.

It was like my mind cleared instantly.

"N-No!" I exclaimed, grabbing at his hand. "D-Don't c-call!" He couldn't. That would just cause trouble for everyone. I would end up being hated by Hayner's parents, and they would do everything they could to hurt Mom.

"Don't fuck with me, Sora. They tried to kill you!"

I couldn't let her get hurt. Even if it meant that they got away with this.

"No. I jumped." I realized that I was shivering. "I jumped.

"What?"

"I jumped, Riku. Okay! I jumped." This would be better. Pretending that I tried to commit suicide was better. It was going to be hard on Mom, do doubt, but she would be safe from everything else. I was alive. She wouldn't be hurt. Olette wouldn't either. Maybe angry with me, but not hurt. And that's all I cared about.

"You're crazy if you think that I'm just going let those mother fuckers get away with this!" Riku had helped me to a sitting position so that I could talk to him easier. My vision had cleared by this point, and I could see that he was angry beyond all belief.

I didn't blame him. If I saw some guys push my best friend off a bridge, I would be pissed too, but I couldn't let him get his revenge.

"Please, Riku," I pleaded. I guess my pathetically hoarse and quiet voice convinced him to listen to me. He let out a long stream of curses, then grabbed my arm.

"Fine. _Fine!_ But you are going to a hospital. I don't need you dying of hypothermia on me!" He pulled me up. I assumed he was trying to be gentle with me, but it hurt like hell. Probably had a few broken bones, and a lot of new bruises from the impact.

He helped me to his car without speaking to me. It was really warm inside, and I realized he hadn't turned it off after he got out. Even though the warmth was wonderful, I was still shuddering uncontrollably. Riku grabbed a blanket from the backseat and shoved it in my face, clearly pissed. Whether it was at Hayner, or at me was unclear.

But he would get over this in time. It was the best thing for everyone.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, pulling the blanket tightly against my body. The blasting heat coming from the car felt amazing against my dripping wet skin and clothes. Somewhere along the way, I'd lost my coat. Most likely, Riku had taken it off before he tried to revive me, so it would be easier. But I was glad. It was warmer without it on.

"I'm really sorry." I felt myself drift off into darkness again. The lids of my eyes closed slowly.

I heard Riku grunt.

* * *

><p>We got to the hospital too soon, in my opinion. I'd fallen asleep on the ride there, but was rudely woken by Riku, who didn't seem to care that I was exhausted. Though, I don't think he meant to wake me up. All I really remember about the whole thing was that I was dragged out of Riku's car, onto a gurney, and dragged into the hospital, having doctors as me questions.<p>

My name.

Age.

How I was feeling.

Where my parents were.

How they could contact them.

And so on.

I thought they were going to try and steal my identity they were asking so many things. I answered them as best as I could, but eventually the pain took over. I was feeling it, now that I wasn't cold, or sleeping anymore. So I just told them to ask Riku all those questions.

He knew the answers to them.

I hoped.

I remember Riku calling Mom as he told the nurses what happened, and that they should contact the doctor who'd helped with my broken arm to come in and do a psych evaluation. Even though he knew I didn't actually jump. Then he was talking to Mom, telling her that I was in the hospital, and that she and Olette should come as soon as possible.

Before I could yell at him for calling her, I was taken into another room, where I was helped out of my wet clothing, dried off, and given something warm to wear. I realized that there were a lot of cuts on my body, which were quickly bandaged up, and then X-rays were taken to see if I had any broken bones. I think they said I did, but I don't really remember.

It was hard to focus on anything, I found, when you were being pushed around by nurses, and then taken to a hospital room. They were nice, but so demanding. Do this, do that... Didn't they get that I almost died?

Mom and Olette showed up faster than I would have thought possible, though, my sense of time was off, so it could have been a lot longer. They came to my room just as Dr. Ansem finished telling me I was going to be put to sleep for a bit, and that Dr. Takedo would be here when I woke up to talk to me.

The unsteady beeping of the heart monitor I was attached too was kind of annoying. I guess it meant that my heart wasn't behaving correctly. I barely noticed it after a while though. Mom and Olette were talking to Dr. Ansem, and I slowly drifted off.

Right before the darkness took over me, though, Mom came over and touched my hand softly.

"Sora?" Her voice was shaky. I could see tears running down her cheeks. "Why...?"

I just smiled. "Sorry Mom. I... I don't... know..."

Then I was out.

* * *

><p>Kairi was there when I woke up, just as Dr. Ansem said. No one else was though. She didn't look very happy to see me.<p>

I tried to flirt with her, though, make the conversation light. All she did was ask me questions about what happened, why I jumped, why I didn't tell Mom about the guys at school, and so on. I answered as truthfully as I could. It angered me slightly to find out that she told Olette and Mom about what was going on at school, but I didn't hold it against her. It was probably the most rational reason she could think of for why I would try and kill myself.

And I got her to start calling me Sora.

It was so different, hearing her say my actual name. I felt closer to her.

But apparently, Riku couldn't keep his trap shut. He told her that I didn't actually jump. He didn't tell her what happened, or elaborate more than that, but he still spilled the beans quite a bit. I was going to have to yell at him for that.

She dropped the conversation after I told her he must have been imagining things.

It was clear she didn't believe me.

* * *

><p>Two minutes before midnight on the last day of the year was the first time I managed to kiss Kairi. At first, when I decided I was going to pretend to be sick, it was just to see her. Riku had mentioned to me that she was going to some stupid party with her fiance, which pissed me off. Kairi had told me about this guy, and he was such a jackass. He didn't deserve her.<p>

So, I decided to save her from him.

Though I'd never met Roxas, I already dearly hated the man. For one thing, he was marrying the women I was in love with, but he treated her like a piece of crap, and didn't have any feelings for her. He didn't even care about her. Just his image. I would not stand for that.

He had to be taken care of. And soon.

But then she walked into my room, and all thoughts of just wanting to see her vanished completely. I didn't even want to just talk to her. I wanted her.

She was dressed in a floor length black dress that was held up by two pieces of fabric tied around her neck. It followed along the length of her body, and wasn't exactly conservative in the cleavage department. Her hair, which was normally tied back to keep it out of her way, was hanging loose around her face. I'd never seen her dressed up like this before, even though she tried to look nice every day.

The fact that she dressed up so well for a guy that she hated more than anything in the world sent a pang of jealousy to rip through me.

I couldn't control the words that jumped from my mouth.

"Hot damn!" I exclaimed. "You look amazing!"

She didn't reprimand me for saying that. In fact, she smiled, blushed, and thanked me for giving her such a strange compliment.

At first, when we were just chatting, I was having trouble controlling the rampant thoughts I was having at that moment. It would have been so easy to just take her then and there. No one would see. The curtains that covered the glass door was closed for privacy, so no one would be able to see in the room. Not that there was anyone out there to begin with.

Then she got up to leave, and I lost control. I scrambled out of bed, and prepared myself to grab her arm, hold her back, get her to stay with me for a little while longer. But she turned. Probably to scold me. I hadn't realized how close I was to her. She seemed surprised as well when she saw that I was right there, and she looked up into my eyes.

I didn't want her to go. She couldn't leave me. I wouldn't let her.

"Don't leave," I whispered, when she turned to completely face me. My hands moved slowly up her sleeveless arms. I felt her shudder slightly beneath my touch, and I decided then that she was only leaving because she didn't want to admit she had feelings for me. "I know you don't want to."

My hands moved to her face and I placed them gently on her cheeks, hoping to keep her head from turning away. I pressed up against her body as much as I could, completely lost in the head.

Her eyes closed as I leaned down, and kissed her.

And right then, everything felt so right.

The heat pulsing through my body, the feel of her lips, the fact that her smooth hand came up and grabbed my wrist, her heart beating furiously against my chest, my mind turning a dirty corner like it was completely normal...

All of it.

When I pulled away from her, I opened my eyes. Hers were still closed, and a blush painted her cheeks delicately, like she'd been outside for just a moment too long. Everything about the way she looked was so perfect in that very moment. As he eyes began to slide open, I found I couldn't control myself.

I kissed her again. Harder this time. A kiss more filled with want.

She let out a small squeak, like some kind of mouse, and her hands moved up to my chest as she tried to push me away. I wasn't goin to have any of that, though. My arms wrapped around her delicate waist, and I pulled her closer to me, my other hand gently pulling her chin up. It was easier to kiss her that way.

After a moment of struggling, she gave in, and kissed me back.

* * *

><p>After that night, her personality changed a little bit. For the better. She was definitely happier. The best part, was that even after I was released from the hospital, she wanted to have contact with me, and I at least talked to her once a day.<p>

I tried to be a good boy when I met up with her. I tried to control myself and only kiss her when we were being intimate. Which wasn't always. We actually spent most of our time together talking, just getting to know each other better. But it was still difficult to control those oh-so-wonderful thoughts that annoyed me sometimes.

And it was so much fun to make Kairi blush a bright crimson. She would always try and scold me for whatever it was I tried to do that time, whether it be trying to strip her, kiss her farther down than her neck, and even pinning her to a wall was too much. The fact that her voice jumped an octave from embarrassment was just too amusing to me for it to really have any effect, though.

Though, I must say, that my new found relationship with Kairi was only one of the perks of being pushed off a bridge and nearly drowning. She was only one of the reasons I'd become really happy. The other, was that Hayner started avoiding me.

Yes, there were times when I ran into him and his gang, but surprisingly, they left me alone. Hayner would get this embarrassed look on his face, mutter something inaudible, the move off, like he didn't know who I was.

I guessed that being responsible for someone almost dying had woken him up a little bit. He barely talked to anyone, stopped being a complete idiot when it came to dealing with the other kids in school, and even came up to me on the last day of school and apologized for being so horrible to me for the four years of high school.

School stopped being a hell hole.

I was actually somewhat sad when I graduated.

But the best night of my life happened shortly afterward, so that feeling didn't last long at all. The best night of my life, when I slept with Kairi for the first time.

That whole thing started when Riku told me he felt bead for leaving Kairi all alone for the next forty hours while he was on call at the hospital, and their other two housemates were taking a vacation for a few days.

I decided that she wasn't actually going to be alone.

I decided that I was going to be there with her.

Of course, Riku had no idea that I was planning on sleeping with Kairi. He didn't anything about our secret relationship. He probably would have murdered me if he knew, though. I found out not long after Kairi and I started this relationship that he really liked her. And that he wanted her to fall in love with him.

That he loved her.

Almost as much as I did.

Almost.

I doubted that anyone could love her as much as I did. It just wasn't possible. Not possible at all. But it didn't matter anyway, because I was the one she chose, not him. Eventually, I figured we would have to tell him about this. And he might kill me.

Oh well. You gotta do what you gotta do when you're in love.

When I got to her house, she was surprised to see me, which wasn't at all shocking. We'd never met at her house before, because she was rarely there alone. Usually, we would meet at my house for a little while when Mom was at the hospital. I always felt kinda bad when Kairi would show up, and she seemed to think the same, but Mom was glad I was happy. And being with Kairi made me happy. So I didn't complain.

Immediately after I got there, I hugged her, then kissed her. She didn't do much in the way of fighting me at first, which was normal. I didn't do much to her, after all. But then I tried to go farther. This was the point when she would stop me, I would pout, but listen to her requests and just let it go.

But this time, I told her that she needed to stop denying this.

I'd actually been expecting more resistance from her. I figured that she would want to talk about this with me now that I wasn't in high school anymore. That she would come up with another excuse for why she didn't want to have sex with me. It would have taken a couple of hours, no doubt, but I was in no hurry. Riku would be gone for a long time, as would her friends. We had the whole house to ourselves for quite a long time.

I could spare a few hours to talk to her about this.

But she said alright.

And I gave her no chance to change her mind.

I felt like the world was finally right. Somehow, through all this crap that we call our lives, I'd become her lover.

* * *

><p>"You've been very happy recently," Mom commented one day. "Did something good happen?" I grinned over at her, letting her know that indeed, something good, no, amazing, had happened, but I wasn't going to tell her what it was. She didn't need to know that I was sleeping with a women who was engaged to another man.<p>

It would probably break her heart to know that her only son was a freak of nature.

She would also probably get really mad at me.

So I wasn't going to tell her. It wasn't important for her to know anyway. It's not like mother's really needed to know when their sons were getting some. It would probably make them feel horrified.

"Yeah, you've been _too_ happy," Olette muttered from the couch next to me. I was surprised she was actually home. She rarely came to visit. "It's almost sickening how happy you are." She stuck her tongue out at me like some kind of child. So I hit her. When Mom wasn't looking.

"Olette, be nice to your brother," Mom scolded, shaking her head. "As long as he's happy, that's all that matters right?" It was going to be a long time to convince Mom that I wasn't depressed and planning to kill myself. I wasn't even depressed in the first place, so it kinda irked me that I had to pretend I had been. But it was worth it, to keep Mom safe.

"Yeah Olette," I teased. "Be nice to your wittle bother."

"Oh shut up."

"Make me."

"Okay, I will!" She reached over like she was going to hit me or something, but Mom's warning voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Kids..."

That was all Mom ever had to say to stop me and Olette from fighting. Even if it was just a quiet call coming from the kitchen. Mom would know if we started fighting again. It was like she had some kind of sixth sense that made it so she could hear what we were saying no matter where we were in the house.

But we wouldn't continue our fight anyway. We both had too much respect for Mom to go against her wishes.

Still, didn't stop Olette from shooting a nasty glare in my direction, and crossing her arms, clearly irritated. It was almost as much fun to irritate her as it was to irritate Riku.

"You're seeing someone, aren't you?" She asked me, her voice dropping a few levels

I grinned. "Maybe."

"Guy or girl?"

"What the- Olette! I'm straight!"

Even though I'd never shown a hint of homosexuality before, it was clear that Olette didn't believe me. "Okay... guy it is."

"Olette!"

"Fine, fine. What's _her_ name then?"

A little miffed that Olette immediately assumed I was gay, I turned my nose up and crossed my arms. "None of your business." Olette tried to argue with me about that, claiming that it was too her business, being the older sister and what not, and that it was okay if I was gay, I could tell her, but something interrupted her.

A crash, interrupted her.

A crash coming from the kitchen. Where Mom was.

Both Olette and I went silent, freezing completely as we waited for our mother to say something, to call out and say she was okay, like she always did. But the call never came. After a moment of terrifying silence, Olette and I exchanged a worried glance, then simultaneously dashed into the kitchen, our argument completely forgotten.

She was laying on the ground, brown hair splayed out around her face, keeping us from seeing it. Broken glass dishes surrounded the upper half of her body. I could see some of them cutting into her arms, spilling blood on the tile floor.

I found I couldn't move.

I was barely aware that Olette had rushed past me, screaming, "Mom!" Then she yelled at me to call the the hospital, get an ambulance, but I still couldn't move. The cold feeling rushing through my body was worse than when I'd been in the river. It was sickening watching her unmoving figure as Olette screamed at me to do something.

Finally, my mind went back to normal, and I opened my mouth to say something.

No sound came out.

I bolted from the room.

* * *

><p>The sky was perfectly clear. Not a single cloud floated overhead. Birds twittered in the trees around us, calling out to one another about things that we couldn't understand. The temperature was warm, but not too much so, with a gentle breeze rushing past us. It was the perfect summer day. Normally, I would be glad about this. It was the weather that everyone wanted to have in July. That's when weather is supposed to be nice. But to me, it was mocking.<p>

More than that. It was taunting me, just waiting for me to snap.

My black suit was burning in the sunlight, turning the pleasant warm air into a hellish temperature, but I ignored it. Even though I felt like I was going to melt in the burning heat, I continued to stand quietly. Alone. In the sunshine. Unable to take my eyes off the freshly turned dirt in front of me.

Mom's grave.

I was the only one standing there now. The only one left after the depressing service, where Mom was laid to rest.

Olette had left first, saying that she couldn't deal with this anymore. She had been in tears. Riku followed her, and told me that he would comfort her, and make sure she wouldn't do anything rash while I stayed here. He also mentioned that if I needed to, I could stay with him for a little while. I just nodded in response.

It was the only thing I could do. My voice had stopped working when I saw Mom lying on the ground, and hadn't started working since then. Barely anyone noticed though. They were all more concerned about how things would work out after all this was over. Even Olette hadn't mentioned my inability to talk.

Slowly, one by one, every else walked away as well, heading home, to their families, to their lives. Leaving me by myself to mourn. It was lonely. I couldn't believe that any of this was happening to me. She was my mom._ Is_ my mom. All of this was impossible. Just a lie. She wasn't dead. I had to be dreaming.

That was the only explanation.

"Sora?"

I hadn't heard Kairi walk up to me. I didn't even know she was going to come. I figured that she wouldn't, as Riku had been here, and she didn't want us to know about us. Or anyone to know about us. It would have given it away if she'd shown up earlier. Someone would have figured it out. After all, Kairi barely knew Mom. And I didn't blame her for not coming. People would probably thinking very poorly of her if they knew she was "cheating" on her husband-to-be.

He wouldn't care, of course, but she still felt awkward about the whole thing.

"Sora, do you want to talk?" Kairi asked me quietly. She was standing behind me, like she was afraid to come over to me.

"She's not gone," I muttered, finally finding my voice. It sounded like I hadn't used it in a few days. Which I hadn't. "She's not dead. There's nothing to talk about. This is just some mistake. Everyone was lying to me." That had to be it. Of course. Kairi would understand me. She would know that Mom wasn't gone.

Her arms wrapped around my chest, and her head buried in my back. My instantaneous reaction was to grab her hands and hold them in place.

"She can't be gone. I don't believe it. She can't be-"

Her face left my back. "Sora..."

"No! I don't want to hear it!" I let go of her hands then, fists clenching at my side. Her soft hands slowly turned me around so I was facing her. The burning pain of tears threatened my eyes, and I tried to avoid her gaze, embarrassed about my physical reaction. She didn't need to see me being pathetic like this.

Her hand rested gently against my cheek, and I closed my eyes. I could feel her thumb brush against the bottom of my eyes, wiping away one of the warm, wet tears that had escaped from my eye. More tears leaked from my eyes as I opened them, staring down at Kairi. She was watching me calmly, like she didn't care that I was crying.

Then she leaned up and kissed me twice. Once on the eye, and once on the lips. My hands stayed by my side the entire time, eyes half open, tears trickling down my face.

"Sora," she breathed, pulling away, "denying what has happened will only make everything worse." She wiped another tear away. "Think about what's happened this way; your mom was in a lot of pain, and had a lot of suffering. She probably put a smile on her face every day so that you wouldn't worry about her, but she wasn't exactly happy. Now she's not in pain." I was kissed again. "Okay?"

Her voice was so soft, and so comforting. I knew what she was saying made perfect sense. She knew more about this kind of stuff than I did, having to go through a psychology rotation in med school. But still, I didn't want to accept it. She was my mom. She was the only parent I'd ever had. My "father" was a no good man who ran off eighteen years ago. I didn't have him. I didn't have anyone but Mom.

And Kairi didn't know _that_. She couldn't possibly understand what I was going through, and what was going on in my life. Even though she knew the medical side of what happened to my mom, and probably about depression too. She couldn't understand.

No one could.

No even Olette, who at least had a life outside of Mom. She had a job, and a boyfriend, and friends who she could lean on.

Who did I have? What did I have?

An empty house that needed to be sold? Riku? Kairi? The house was useless to me, and those two would never be able to know what I was going through. They both had their parents still, lots of money, a place to live, and other friends.

Yet, Kairi had the guts to tell me that this was a good thing.

I pushed her way.

"You don't get it," I snapped. "You have both your parents still, even though they're a little weird. You have money, a home, a job, everything you could ever dream of. You're getting married in a few weeks. You're happy. You've probably never lost anything in your life, so don't tell me that you understand, and that Mom isn't in pain anymore! You don't get it!"

Even as I said this, I knew how absolutely horrible it was. How nasty, how _shallow_ it was of me to just assume this. To assume she had everything. To tell it to her face. I didn't understand how I could say it.

It wasn't like me

It was vicious.

And it sounded like something Roxas would say to her.

I closed my eyes and waited. Waited for her to reject me, just knowing that it was going to happen. It had to happen. It wasn't much of a surprise to me when suddenly, Kairi's shaking hand smacked me across the face, and that her response was laced with a nasty venom that sent a shiver down my spine.

"You don't know that! You don't know everything about me, so don't go assuming things that aren't true!" The only thing that shocked me about this were the tears forming in her angry eyes. She took a step back, and in a shaky voice, continued. "I do know what it's like to lose someone. I've felt the pain you're going through. I know what it's like to lose the only person who every seemed to care about you."

Her words became inaudible as she dissolved into tears, before she slapped me again.

"My grandmother died ten years ago, Sora. When I was fourteen. She was the one who raised me. Mother was too busy with her social life, and Father was never home. She was the one who took care of me, taught me morals, helped me with homework, taught me how to study, and cook, and clean, and live a good life, and she left me. All alone. With those freaks who call themselves my parents. So don't-"

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand moved to the back of her neck, twisting in her soft hair, and I occupied her lips so that she couldn't speak anymore. Couldn't yell at me.

Even I could tell that my kiss was extremely desperate. I didn't bother waiting for her to respond to me before I deepened the kiss, and grabbed her waist. I pulled her closer to me, feeling slightly satisfied that I'd managed to shut her up so efficiently. That was all that mattered to me in that moment.

I was able to think better now that she was quiet. Able to get through my head that this was real. Mom was gone.

But I wasn't alone.

That made me feel a little bit better.

When I finally released Kairi from the crushing hug I had her in, she pulled away from me slightly, tear stained face, red from embarrassment. She reached up and lightly touched the cheek she'd slapped twice, and I flinched slightly. It still stung.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, voice nothing but a small sound in my ears. I shook my head, and tried to speak, but she placed a finger over my lips. "No. I shouldn't have hit you once, and definitely not twice. I let my emotions go."

I grabbed her hand and held it in place, not wanting to lose her touch. The fact that she was still here amazed me. Even though I was extremely upset, I shouldn't have said something so insensitive.

"Well," I muttered, "I guess we're both at fault then."

Then her phone rang.

I flinched at the sudden noise, and didn't react in time to stop her from answering it. I cursed myself silently.

"Hello? Roxas, I told you I had something to do today. No, I don't care. Yes, I understand that it's important to you, but it's not to-"

It was him calling. The man who'd made Kairi's life slightly hellish over the past year. The guy who was keeping me from having her completely because he was so intent on going through with this stupid marriage. He wanted to take her away from me on this day. When I needed her. I wasn't going to let that happen.

In one swift motion, I snatched the phone from her and ended the call, but not before I kissed her.

"Don't talk to him today," I muttered, ignoring the ringing phone in my hand. He would just have to deal with not talking to Kairi. "Just today. Just right now. Don't push me away for some guy that you hate."

It was like she could read my mind, understand just why I didn't want her to talk to him. Every time she did, she left me. She had to. And I didn't want that.

So she nodded, tear stained blue eyes staring into my own.

"Okay. I won't. Not today."

I wished she had said, "not ever."

* * *

><p>I have to say that living in the same house that Riku lived in was somewhat nicer than I'd expected. I didn't have to cook unless no one else was home, but usually Aqua and Riku did it, I didn't have to worry about cleaning anything but my own mess, or worry about being up too late because one of them was always up too, and I got to spend more time with Kairi.<p>

I'd found a job not long after the funeral. A man heard my story and felt sorry for me, so he offered me an okay paying job. So when I wasn't there, or sleeping, and Kairi was home and awake, we were able to be together. Even if it meant just being in the same room without talking, or having physical contact.

Originally, my plan had been to stay with Olette, but she currently wasn't talking to me. I couldn't understand why she did this at first. I mean, yes, I hadn't talked to her until after the service, but at least I'd acknowledged that she was there. I hadn't just ignored her.

Kairi told me that she was probably blaming me for everything that had happened. Blamed me for Mom's death, blamed me for being the younger one and not having to deal with the paper work that was left behind, blamed me for being able to live with friends, blamed me for absolutely everything she could think of.

This, of course pissed me off, but Kairi continued on, explaining that she was doing it because I would never leave her. People always take out their grief the ones closest to them The ones who will never leave them. It was easier for them that way. That way they wouldn't lose anyone else. When she was ready, she would talk to me again. And she would apologize, and ask me to forgive her. Which I was instructed to do.

No matter what happened.

What Kairi told me made things easier to deal with, even though Olette was still pissing me off with her nonsense. It was annoying as shit.

Then, something happened that ruined the two weeks of healing I'd managed to accomplish. Something so frustrating, and angering, that I spent two days fuming about it later; Roxas showed up looking for Kairi.

He was sitting in the living room when I got back from work one day, talking calmly to Riku, as though he weren't a total creepy freak of nature man. It was clear to me, and probably Roxas too, that my friend was really mot liking this guy, and was not happy with the conversation. Still, Roxas, continued it.

I had to give that guy points. Riku was not easy to talk to when he was pissed.

This guy was doing it flawlessly.

Then Riku saw me walk into the room, even though I tried to be as quiet as possible, and he grinned at me, almost viciously. I swear that I saw demons surrounding him.

"Hey, Sora, come entertain our _guest_ until Kairi gets home, okay?" If he knew that I was sleeping with Kairi, he would probably do this to me in order to get revenge. That's how horrible the idea was. And it was like he knew that I hated the guy already.

Though, when I got farther into the room, and Riku whisked by me to escape to the wonderful outdoors, I could see why people seemed to trust Roxas immediately. He didn't look evil, or mean, or cold hearted. In fact, he looked kind of nice, charming, almost. If the circumstances had been different, I probably would have liked him, and tried to make friends with him.

But the circumstances weren't different.

He was still engaged to _my_ Kairi, and I still had to sneak around behind everyone's backs in order to just be with her _occasionally_.

"So... You're Kairi's fiance, huh?" I commented dryly, sitting on the arm of one of the chairs.

"Yes. And you are?"

He sounded slightly dead. His voice was low, almost a monotone, like he wasn't happy at all. I wondered why he wouldn't be happy. If it had anything to do with the engagement, then he could just call it off, right? But it also seemed like he was hiding something from the rest of the world. Hiding it behind the wedding.

"Sora." I extended one hand for him to shake. "I'm one of Riku's friends who's freeloading because I have nowhere else to go." Probably the best way to describe my situation to this guy. I smirked at him, almost daring him to question me about my relationship with Kairi.

But he didn't say anything in response. Instead, he took my hand firmly and shook it, smiling like there was no weird atmosphere hanging above our heads. Which there definitely was. I didn't like it.

"Oh, you're the strange boy who was Kairi's patient about a year ago," he said. "I imagined you to be different." I felt my face grow hot when he said that. Partially because I didn't know Kairi had talked about me to other people before we started this whole thing, and partially because the way he said the last sentence... it was like he was mocking me.

But I wasn't going to let him have that. "Yeah, that's what most people say when they meet me."

"I don't think that's a very good thing." Of course he wouldn't think that, the little prissy son of a –

"Eh, I don't care."

He smiled to himself, like he knew something that I didn't. I couldn't help but wonder what it was. Not many people knew stuff that I didn't. I studied way to hard to let that happen most of the time.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Sora."

"Likewise." Not! I hated this guy even more. He acted charming to people he didn't know that well, or when he wanted something and could totally get away with it, but then he acted so horribly to Kairi. He was a jack ass. Always had been, and always would be. Nothing he said would ever change my mind about that fact.

Kairi would never be happy with this guy. Not now. Not in a million years.

I would have started another conversation, because honestly silence freaks me out a little bit, but then I heard the front door open. Kairi wasn't exactly quiet as she came inside, which was normal. I got up to go greet her, and of course warn her about Roxas showing up here randomly, and maybe even sneak a kiss before she had to deal with the freakazoid, but I was stopped.

Roxas' hand gripped my upper arm tightly, and he yanked me towards him. I didn't even know how he got there.

"I know you and Kairi have something going on," he hissed. "I know that you're the one who hung up on me two weeks ago." I pulled away from him, surprised. "Now, I honestly don't care if you have a relationship with her, but if you make it so this wedding doesn't happen, then trust me when I say I will do everything in my power to destroy you. Kairi too." He let my arm go. "So, if you actually care about her, then you won't let that happen."

Then he was gone, heading towards where Kairi was.

I felt sick to my stomach.

He wasn't an jack ass. He was a bastard.

* * *

><p>It was just the two of us.<p>

Riku and Terra were busy in surgery, and Aqua was working in the clinic for the next six hours. Both Kairi and I had the day off, which was an extremely rare occurrence, so we had the entire house to ourselves. No loud house mates to get in our way.

She was laying next to me on her stomach, eyes half closed as though she were pondering something. It was weird for her to be so quiet. Normally she would want to talk to me. But not today.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked. "You look kinda down." She glanced over at me for a minute, then buried her face int the pillow beneath her head. This was odd. She'd never done anything like this before. So, hoping to be able to help her with whatever her problem was, I reached over and placed a hand on top of her head, wondering what could be wrong.

"If there's something you need to talk about, I'm here to listen to you. You know that, right?"

When she lifted her head, I thought she was going to start talking to me, something she hadn't been doing lately. Instead, she grabbed the back of my neck, much like I'd done to her many times before, and pulled me in for a kiss, shifting so that her body was pressed directly against mine. The only thing between our bodies was a part of the blanket that had fallen between us.

She seemed determined to keep my occupied for long enough that I didn't question her again. I let this go on for a few minutes, but there was some reason she was acting this way. She almost _never_ initiated anything. Whenever she did, it was because she was upset about something and wanted to use me as a distraction.

I wanted to know what the reason was this time.

So I pulled away from her, and repeated my question, holding her back as best I could.

Finally, she sighed and lay back down, saying, "I'm getting married in ten days." The moment I let her go, she tried to reach over and kiss me again. I was too quick for her, thank goodness, and I held her back. Her pouting face was adorable. "I don't want to get married." There was so much distaste in her voice that I felt a little sick to my stomach.

I hadn't known she had so much anger inside of her.

"Why did you agree to do this then?" It had been a question I'd been dying to ask her for the longest time. Why would she agree to marry someone she didn't love?  
>Her eyes darkened. For a minute, I thought she was going to blow up at me, like she had at the funeral, but instead, she sat up and turned away from me. All I could see was her bare back and auburn hair falling onto it.<p>

"My father is a terrifying man," she whispered. "He didn't give me a choice in the matter. I _had_ to agree to this, or I wouldn't have been allowed to go to med school." The way she said this made me imagine a tall, bald man shrouded in darkness giving out orders to random people in a deep booming voice. It was kinda creepy.

"And what about Roxas? He clearly doesn't like you, yet he's so determined to keep this wedding going."

"He respects his father's opinion too much to even consider going against what the old man wanted. He now, after he's dead..." She trailed off, voice coming to a quiet halt, almost as if to emphasize her point. I moved so I was sitting directly behind her, and allowed my hands to move slowly up her back, until they were wrapped around her stomach comfortingly.

I kissed her neck gently, then muttered against her skin, "that's ridiculous." Her head bobbed up and down in response. For a while we sat there just like that, not talking, not moving. I couldn't stop my thoughts from rampaging. This entire thing was because of two old men; one who was really scary, and another who was respected way too much. It was almost as if these two, both Roxas and Kairi, were unable to think for themselves.

Except, if that was the case, then I wouldn't be here right now with Kairi. She was the one who chose to kiss me back that day, the one let me come so far into her life. That wasn't her father's decision. He didn't even know about it, so how could it be?

Just thinking about how she chose me made me feel a rush of happiness, and I kissed her neck again. More this time.

I trailed kisses down her neck to her shoulder, where I stopped, waiting for her to do something. Her body turned in mine, and she pushed me down on the bed, pressing her lips to mine passionately. There was no need to press for more information now. I could just let her go on with using me to keep her mind off the wedding. I didn't mind that. I couldn't even think about it, really, as her bare skin pressed against my own. I lost all thoughts other than the ones that made me want her even more than usual.

She was so intoxicating to me.

"Sora," she breathed after a time, still pinning me to the bed. I was surprised she spoke. Normally she didn't once we were past the light kissing phase.

"Hm?" I answered back, moving down to her neck again.

"Tell me not to get married."

I froze, eyes sliding open. She did not just say that. She could not have just said that to me. "What?"  
>"Tell me that you don't want me to get married. I'll call it off. I'll tell Roxas that I can't do it, and that I won't marry him, no matter what." I was horrified. This was exactly what Roxas told me couldn't happen. Not unless I wanted Kairi to suffer for the rest of her life. "Please?" She kissed me again, almost as if to beg me to say those words she wanted to hear.<p>

I wanted to say them. So badly. It wasn't even funny how much I wanted to tell her that I didn't want her to get married. Not to Roxas. To me would be fine, but not to _him_. But I couldn't. The conversation with Roxas was still fresh in my mind, like it had happened just yesterday.

"Kairi..." I didn't know what I could say.

"Please! I won't get married if you tell me not to! I'll stay with you forever, or, as long as you want me to, and I'll never even mention Roxas' name again. Just... Just please..." It was like she knew what I was going to say. Tears formed in her eyes when I hesitated.

I could only shake my head.

"I'm sorry. I... I can't say that..."

She looked horrified. Upset. Sad.

Betrayed.

She pulled away from me, shaking, and slid out of bed, running to the bathroom. As soon as she was out of sight, I hit myself on the head, quite a few times, and felt the need to scream. This wasn't going how I wanted it to. It needed to go how I wanted it to.

Nothing else was right.

Kairi didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. I tried to start conversations with her, but she completely ignored me, and started talking to someone else. Everyone noticed what was going on, but none of them commented on it.

The next day, she moved out.

* * *

><p>The date was August ninth.<p>

It was a warm summer day, party cloudy, and a light breeze keeping the outdoors from getting too hot. Children were out enjoying their last days of summer vacation without a worry in the world, parents had nothing to worry about but where their kids were and what they were doing.

Overall, it was a nice day.

Except for the fact that it was three hours before Kairi Takedo was going to be married to another man.

A man who didn't love her.

A man that she hated.

And I had the chance to stop it, and didn't.

So yeah, it was technically a nice day, but it also wasn't. If I had told Kairi I didn't want her to get married, which was nothing but the truth, then she wouldn't have, and we would be in a huge mess with Roxas. In the end, she probably would have come to hate me, because I caused her life to become hell. Though, I assumed she hated me now.

She was living with Roxas now. Riku told me it was because planning things for the wedding were easier when Kairi's home was with her fiance, and of course, things had to be easier for the damn man who was taking her away from me. It was a horrible thing, that she wasn't here with us, because it meant I had no contact with her. She refused to talk to me, ignoring my calls and texts constantly, and I wasn't brave enough to go over to her new house and apologize.

So, pretty much, I fell into a little pit of depression. Most of it was because Kairi was gone, but another part was because I didn't have anyone to distract me from dealing with Mom's death anymore. Kairi would always do that for me. She knew it's one of the reasons I was with her so much, and she never seemed to mind.

But now she was gone, and I had nothing to do really but think about everything that was going on in my life. I started running during those ten days, just to keep myself _from_ dealing with everything. I'd always run before, but nothing like this. It was ridiculous how much I ran. And that's basically all I did. Run, eat, sleep, work. That was my entire schedule.

Riku clearly noticed that there was something wrong with me. He would ask me questions sometimes, and even tried to hang out with me with when he wasn't passed out from being exhausted from work. Yeah, that guy could go a long time without sleeping, but it really messed up with his body chemistry. Normally I just told him to leave me alone, and that I didn't want to talk about anything, then go on a run.

But today, August ninth, I didn't want to do anything. I'm sure that in a few days, I would be somewhat better, but it was the day of the wedding.

And I was not a happy camper.

So this time, instead of just trying to talk to me, Riku actually yanked me off the bed I was using while I stayed with him, dragged me to the living room, pushed me on the couch, and crossed his arms, clearly irritated. It was a shock for me, who hadn't left my room pretty much all day, to actually have contact with someone, so I didn't actually struggle at all. There was no point in doing so anyway.

He glared at me, crossing his arms.

"What the fuck is wrong with you recently?" He growled. "And don't give me the "my mom's death is finally hitting me' thing because I don't buy that. At all."

It was then I decided this wasn't going to be fun. The excuse I'd been working on for the past ten days was completely null because Riku knew way to much about me. So, of course, there was no way that I was going to be able to lie to him anymore.

"I made a huge mistake," I managed to mutter. It was the best way to describe what happened, I guess. A mistake. Yeah... I guess you could call it that.

"Oh, did you now? And what would that mistake be, Mr. Perfect." Riku had always hated that I was good at most things. So he called me Mr. Perfect when he was irritated with me. It wasn't like he had perfect tendencies. He had more than I did, in my opinion. So it was kind of a pointless nickname.

"Yeah, I did. It's not that surprising."

"What's the mistake, Sora? Did you forget to clean your dishes last night?" It was annoying how he wasn't taking this seriously at all.

"No. I'm letting her get married." The air turned heavy in an instant. There was only one women that we both knew who was getting married. Clearly I was talking about Kairi, and I knew that Riku was going to ask me what was going on. Especially when he growled dangerously.

"_What?_"

Maybe he would hit me. Break my jaw or something.

"She wanted me to tell her not to get married," I explained. "Right before she left. Right before she stopped talking to me. I told her that I couldn't say it." My voice cracked a little bit as the weight of what I did came crashing down on me. "I don't want her to get married."

Everything clicked in Riku's head. Just by saying what I said, he figured out about the relationship I had with Kairi. He probably figured out that we were sleeping together, and that I wanted to be the one with her right now. He knew that the reason Kairi had been so happy was because of me, not Roxas. She still didn't love him.

He didn't take it too well.

His hand reached forward and grabbed my collar, yanking me off the couch, and he pulled me close to him, glaring.

"What the fuck is _wrong with you_?' He nearly screamed. "You and Kairi? She's engaged you idiot! And you know that!"

"Didn't stop you," I countered, shoving him away from me. I was suddenly angry. I let him know that Kairi and I had something going on, and he tells me that she's engaged, which is why it was wrong? This guy was a hypocrite. "You went and slept with her hours after she found out about this engagement. You took advantage of her when she was vulnerable, so don't give me that crap."

Riku's eyes narrowed. He probably wouldn't have guessed that I knew that.

"That was..." He trailed off, thinking of something to say. But he couldn't defend himself for that action, and he knew it.

"That was what? Different? You're right, Riku, it was different. You did it because she was upset and wanted comfort. The relationship I had with Kairi wasn't me taking advantage of her. It was something we both decided we wanted." I took a breath in. "So yeah. They are different. But don't go telling me that what I did was wrong when what you did was even worse."

"What I did doesn't matter. I didn't push it farther. Besides, you guys are five years apart. You just graduated high school, and-"

"That doesn't stop me from loving her." It was the first time I'd said that to someone. It was the first time I'd said it aloud. I always wanted to say it to Kairi, but I feared it would scare her off. We did meet not that long ago. But I felt like I'd known her forever. "I love her, Riku."

He stayed silent after that. The anger faded from his face, and was replaced by annoyance and frustration. Not only that, but he seemed to be hurt by what I said. Rejected. He wasn't taking this well at all.

I knew this was going to happen. Maybe I shouldn't have told him anything. Maybe I should have just said to him that everything was fine, and I just haven't been sleeping because of the nightmares that plagued me nightly. Maybe everything would have been better if I'd just kept my mouth shut about this whole thing. We wouldn't be fighting. I would be able to move on.

But I needed to talk to someone, and Riku was the only person available.

Finally, after a time when I thought he was going to punch my lights out, which I actually was hoping he would do so I could get some real sleep, he sighed. Glancing away from me, he crossed his arms and asked, "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have the two of you... well, had something."

He was calming down quickly. Much faster than I would have expected, knowing Riku. It was possible to talk to him now.

"Since New Years."

He flinched, and glared over at me. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt betrayed by me. Me, and Kairi too. He'd been the one who saved my life just before that day. I always knew that he liked someone he worked with. The day after I nearly died, I found out it was Kairi, and yet I still managed to get her. He probably regretted saving me now. How could he not?  
>"I loved her first," Riku muttered after a moment of silence. It was odd to hear him talk so quietly. He never did. He was always loud and clear with what he wanted.<p>

"She loved me first," was my immediate reply. "And in the end, it's not up to us. It's up to her." I waited for a moment to let this sink in, before I continued on with what I was saying. "Are you really going to just ignore her wishes?"

"But she isn't talking to you. If she really loves you, then why did she move out so suddenly and stop talking to you? Why didn't you tell her not to get married?"

I grimaced, thinking of the conversation that had taken place with Roxas a little while ago. That had been the reason. The only damn reason why I hadn't already begged her not to get married to that creep. Even if she hadn't asked me that question, I would have done it.

Slowly, I relayed my conversation with Roxas back to Riku. What he said to me, and then, worse of all, Kairi's reaction when I told her I couldn't ask her not to get married.

He groaned. "Jackass!"

"Tell me about it."

That was when Riku smacked me over the head. "I was talking about both of you! Kairi's probably convinced that you were just using her. It would be just like her to be convinced that your entire relationship was built on nothing but you wanting to sleep with her because she's a pretty face."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Kairi always did have issues with men using her for that reason. All of her life she was told to just sit and look pretty, and that a man would take care of her when the time was right.

It's one of the reasons she became a doctor.

Riku continued to glare at me for a dangerous moment. Again, I thought that he was going to hit me or something similar. I certainly deserved it.

But then he turned around and stormed out of the room. When I asked him where he was heading, he stopped, and looked at me.

"You and I," he replied, "have a wedding to stop."

* * *

><p><strong>Kairi<strong>

The last week and a half of my life flew by quite quickly. Faster than I would have expected, anyway. I barely noticed anything that was going on around me, preferring to sit in my new room and not speak to anyone. Preparations for the wedding went on all around me without my even noticing. Occasionally, I would be asked a direct question, and have to answer it immediately for fear of being scolded by Mother.

Is this food good?

Is the color arrangement to your taste?

And sometimes, I would be forced to come down and practice things, or have to participate while certain items were prepared. Like the dress I was going to have to wear.

But I didn't care about any of it. Not a single thing was interesting to me. It never had been in the first place. I knew that I would have to fake my happiness though. Everyone was expecting me to be completely infatuated with Roxas.

And I guess I could come to enjoy his company after a time. It would be the best thing I would get now.

After all, he'd rejected me. Broke my heart.

I'd pleaded with him. I only wanted him to tell me I shouldn't get married. That would have been enough for me, even if he didn't really love me. It would have been too much to ask for what I really wanted, though; him to tell me that he wanted to be with me in the eyes of everyone we knew, not just us. I didn't want us to just be lovers anymore.

But of course, that was a selfish desire. I should have known that. Mother had worked very hard to raise me not to be selfish, after all. Now, I understood exactly why that was the case. She'd actually gotten one parenting thing correct. It was amazing.

"Kairi? What ever is wrong with you recently? Today especially? You don't seem to want to be here right now." Mother was standing in front of me at that very moment, hands placed on her hips. Like normal. Behind me was a tailor who happened to be working very diligently on the white wedding gown I was to wear today.

White... such an unfitting color for me. If only Mother knew that.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I'm just a little nervous for this wedding." Lying to her was so easy for me to do now. I'd learned at a very young age that if you told her what she wanted to hear, then life would become a lot better for everyone. She stayed happy when everyone else lived out her fantasy of a perfect world. There were even times when she refused to believe what the newscaster said because it didn't fit in her ideal life.

Though it was annoying, and I never quite understood what was the truth, and what was a lie, when I was younger until I began living with Nana. My grandmother. When she took me away from my parents when I was four, she began teaching me everything I needed to know about living life, both in the real world, and with Mother.

Nana had always been ashamed of the way her daughter turned out, so she told me that she would raise me right. She would teach me the ins and outs of being a female in an all male world, and how I could survive with someone as shallow as Mother.

She taught me when to lie, when to tell the truth, and when I should keep my mouth shut.

This, was a time to lie.

Mother would never find out that I was lying to her about being nervous. She would probably never even notice that Roxas and I practically hated each other at this point. She would continue to live life in her own little world.

"Being nervous is completely normal," Mother said, smiling. "Heaven knows that I was terrified when I married your father. I nearly ran away right when it was time to walk down the isle, but I kept my head straight, and did it anyway." This wasn't the first time I'd heard this story recently. Mother kept telling it to me, like she thought it would help me. It was nice to know she could do something that wasn't selfish once in a while.

"But I can't believe my baby is getting married," she continued. "And to such a handsome young man. I'm sure your grandmother would be so proud of you right now. I know your father and I are."

Nana wouldn't be proud of me at all. She would have noticed that I didn't like Roxas, and probably would have screamed at me until she was hoarse about how ridiculous I was being, that I should just call off the wedding. Then she would go on about how marriage was about love, not money, or what your parents wanted. It was about being with the person you want more than anyone else in the world for the rest of your life.

She would be anything _but_ proud of me.

That made me show a genuine smile, thinking of Nana's views of the world. She always seemed to know what the right thing to do was.

"I can't believe it either." I didn't want to mention anything about Nana. Lying about her would just make me feel horrible, rather than better. I knew I shouldn't be there right then. I should have been home, with my friends, and with Sora.

It should be him I was getting married to. Nana would be proud of me for that.

But he was still young. Very young. I was probably just some fling for him, and when it came to me wanting him to be more, he pulled away. Yes, he'd called me many times. But most likely only so that we could continue our relationship the way it was before. I didn't want that. If I couldn't be with Sora fully, then I didn't want to be with him at all.

It would hurt too much.

"Well, there's nothing worse than a nervous bride," Mother said suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. "So let's just calm down, and think; in a few hours, this will all be over, and you'll be alone with your new husband."

Mother had no idea what was going to happen after the wedding. Currently, Roxas had planned that we would go on a false honey-moon for a few weeks so that no one would get suspicious. But during that time, he would be working, and I would be left alone. I wouldn't be with him at all.

I was going to respond with something, even though I had no idea what I possibly could respond with, when I heard a commotion outside. Curious, I shut my mouth and listened closely, hoping that maybe something bad would happen and I could get out of this nightmare for a little while longer.

_"Hey! You can't go in there!"_ One of the guards outside yelled this, and there was a large crash. Mother muttered something to herself about getting some peace and quiet, then headed to the door.

The sentence that came next sent me running to the door as well.

_"But I need to talk to Kairi!"_

Even though my dress wasn't done being finished, I rushed to open the door, pushing past my mother quickly. The sound of his voice was enough to make me crazy enough to do that. Mother called out to me in a startled voice, but I was already at the door, yanking it open.

"Sora?" I called out. He was there. His head snapped in my direction in an instant, blue eyes widening with surprise. The guards were looking at me too, probably wondering why I was calling out to this person. "Please, let him go," I instructed them. "I want to talk to him." They exchanged a strange glance, but listened to me, and released Sora. He pushed his way towards me as soon as he could, stumbling a little bit.

It was kind of funny how out of place he looked in the clothing he was wearing. A wrinkled t-shirt, ripped jeans, and dirty sneakers. Everyone else in this place had on a suit, but not him. It wouldn't have suited him anyway.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, barely aware that Mother was standing behind me now. She asked me quietly if I knew this boy, but I waved her off. No doubt I would be reprimanded for that later. "You shouldn't be he-"

"I don't want you to get married," he panted.

Mother's indignant gasp was barely noticeable to me as my eyes widened. Had he really just said that to me? After telling me that he couldn't? Why would he do that? If he was serious, then why was he just saying this to me now? It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real. This had to be some kind of joke that he was playing on me. Playing on my heart.

"I should have said that to you ten days ago, when you wanted me to. Every second after I told you no, I regretted those words." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly, like it would have hurt him to let go of me. I flushed. These were the worlds I'd been waiting for. I wanted him to say this so badly.

Maybe this was real.

"Sora-" I began to say, not sure exactly how I was going to finish that sentence. Not that I got a chance to.

"What's going on here?" Then there was Roxas' voice. Of course. He always had the worst timing in my opinion. Both Sora and I looked over at my soon-to-be-husband, which caused Sora to loosen his grip. When Roxas saw Sora, his eyes traveled down to our hands, and they narrowed.

"Oh no! Oh no, oh no! You shouldn't be here! The groom must never see his bride in the wedding dress until she walks down the isle! You should know that-" Even Mother was cut off by Roxas. Probably the only one who was brave enough to do such a thing.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed, glaring at Sora. Before I could do anything, he closed the distance between the two of us, and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me towards him. My hand slipped out of Sora's. "I thought we talked about this before."

…._ What?_

I looked up at Roxas, not understanding what was going on. What did he mean by that? Had he said something to Sora that made him act the way he did? Was he the reason I thought Sora was just a bastard who was using me? I tried to pull away from him and go to Sora's side, but he held me tighter, and spoke again.

"Leave. Now." I'd never heard such venom in a voice. It sent chills down my spine. Even Mother seemed to react to the tone. She whispered something about wanting to know what was going on, and was shushed by Roxas.

Sora was looking at me now, waiting. Waiting for me to say something, to tell Roxas off. To let him know that I didn't want this to be my life from now on. That I loved Sora. But I was unable to move.

"I love you, Kairi," Sora whispered. Without another word, he walked off in the opposite direction. Towards the exit of this building. As soon as he was out of sight, Mother let out a scowl, and began ranting.

"What a scandalous young man! Coming in here, claiming to know you, and then declaring that in front of your fiance. And on your wedding day, no less. His mother must not have known what she was doing when she raised him. I can't believe anyone would do something so embarrassing. But don't worry about it. He probably just saw you, Kairi, somewhere and became a fan. Just ignore him, and everything he just said."

Mother could believe what she wanted. It clearly didn't matter that I'd said his name earlier, or that Roxas had been so rude to him. It was obvious that we both knew who he was. She was just too blind to see that.

Obviously.

But Roxas knew that something had changed inside of me at that moment. He squeezed me tighter, probably knowing that this wasn't going to end the way he wanted it to.

"Roxas?"

"... Hm?"

"I can't marry you."

"... I know."

* * *

><p><strong>Sora<strong>

"What happened?"

"I told her that I don't want her to get married, that I love her."

"And?"

I looked down at my feet, feeling slightly embarrassed by this whole thing. "It didn't work." I'd been too late. She probably didn't trust a word I said. She was going to get married now, and be unhappy. She knew that. I knew that. Even Riku could see that, and he hadn't heard half of the stuff that Roxas had done to Kairi.

But if he hadn't shown up...

Riku let out a sigh, and began walking over to his car. "Well, I can't really say I'm sorry. I wish I could, but I really can't." He unlocked the door, then noticed that I was no longer moving. "But it does suck. I know how you feel, trust me."

He did know how I felt. In a way. It wasn't the same, of course, but it was similar.

"Yeah."

I moved towards the passenger door. Nothing was going right. I'd thought that maybe, just maybe, if I'd come down here and told her in person how I felt, that she would come with me. But that was just some kind of child fantasy. It was a good thing I was a child, I guess. That way, I could get over this.

Maybe.

"Sora!"

At first, I thought I was hearing thing. It was my name, but it was said in her voice. I was just imagining things. But then I saw the look on Riku's face as he stared over my shoulder. It really was her. I turned, and saw her running towards me, still wearing her silky wedding dress.

It must have been a bitch to run in. Yet she was pulling it off, coming towards me faster than I could have ever imagined.

"Kairi?"

She nearly tackled me as soon as she got close enough, wrapping her arms around my neck. I stumbled back and crashed into the car, which hurt, but her suffocating me was even worse. So I grabbed her arms and pulled her down.

Gasping, I asked, "Kairi, what are you-" but she shut me up with a sweet kiss, most likely unaware of the fact that Riku was standing right behind us. She wasted no time in breathing before she kissed me again, wrapping her arms around my neck again.

"I love you too," she whispered. Words only for my ears. "I want to stay with you. Just you. Not Roxas, not anyone else. I love you. Only you."

I felt giddy inside. That's right, giddy. For the first time since Mom had gotten sick all those years ago, I felt truly euphoric. This was such a strange feeling, being completely happy. Hearing those words come out of her mouth. Knowing that they were nothing but the truth. Kairi wasn't the kind of woman who took those words lightly. So, I did the only thing I could think of; kiss her. Naturally. I was so happy that she was finally mine, and only mine. So happy that I barely even noticed the death glare that Riku was shooting my way at that very moment, or that I'd just completely ruined a wedding.

None of those things mattered to me.

I'd met her at a hospital because of the fight I'd gotten in. Immediately, I fell for her, and hard. I didn't think that I even had a chance with her, and yet, here I was, holding her close to me, kissing her. And she wasn't resisting in anyway.

All this because I decided to take a chance, and faked being ill on New Years, just to see her.

In a way, I was a hypochondriac. Just, not the kind that she thought I had been that day.

But I didn't think it was some serious mental condition. Not the one I had, anyway.

I just loved her so much.

So thank goodness for being a hypochondriac.


End file.
